Stop voting for Jesus

No really. I here people say this. It’s one of the most insipid and churlish write answers I’ve ever heard. Right up there with voting for a major party. If you’re gonna write in at least follow your principles and vote someone who could reasonably qualify. In other words not a 2000 plus year dead middle eastern national. Maybe put the boxed wine down and drink water instead so you can think clearly.

-C Fish


My World 7

Welcome to My World #7. The big news is that I have Moved from Berkeley to Santa Rosa. It’s about 60 miles north. There’s a lot less pollution here. The population is about the same a Berkeley but it’s not surrounded by 5.5 million other people in surrounding towns. It’s quiet here. The air smells good and the water out of the tap doesn’t taste like rust or chlorine.

Also, I’m getting married to my partner Cynthia. She has written things in this and the last two issues. We’re going to get married on spring solstice in Berkeley. In addition to losing my friend David Nadel to a drunk with a gun, I have had to deal with two dog accidents in the last month.

The first one was a dog that got hit and then drug under a car. Myself and my partner had to pull the dog out from under the car, deal with the owner of the dog who had a heart condition, and get the dog to a 24 hour vet.

The second one happened yesterday. There is a Denny’s next to the freeway near my house. Me and Cynthia were having breakfast there. She saw a part huskie, part wolf walking down the entrance to the freeway. I ran out of the denny’s and jumped the fence and ran after him. When I caught up to him a woman had pulled over to try to grab him. It was pretty early so the freeway was packed and going about 65mph. Somehow the dog ran away from us across the three lanes on our side and started running down the middle divider. The woman with the car pulled out on the freeway and slowed down to where the other cars had to slow down. I ran across and followed the dog down the divider. Another woman drove past him and pulled over and got out to grab him but he ran around her car. She and I ran after him and a man in a truck stopped in front of him and jumped out to grab him and the dog jumped the divider into the other lanes in front of a 18 wheeler. He was instantly torn into unrecognizable pieces.

Please do me a favor. Just stop driving.

If you don’t care about animals try considering the 110 people who will die and the 2,700 people who will be injured today and every day on American roads.

I still seem to be getting orders for merch stuff so I’ll keep doing it for now. Here’s what I’ve got:

Two sided Fifteen T-Shirt 12$ ppd
Video of last 15 Show(2hrs.) 15$ ppd
My worlds #0-7 1$ + a stamp each
Well concealed cash is ok

Checks/Money orders made out to:
Jeff Ott
48 Shattuck Square #6
Berkeley CA 94704


“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” How many times have I heard punx or activists speak within the context of the first amendment being not just the “supreme law of the land” but also the guide by which to find if something is right or not. Things like, “they can’t do that, it violates the 1st amendment” or “they have the right to do/be/say whatever they want just like we do”. It seems like one of the fundamental assumptions is that law is the only way to protect oneself from governmental intrusions on our lives. We usually think that the bill of rights is there to protect us. A government is nothing more than a book full of laws and a group of people with enough guns to force the majority into obedience. It took me a long time to realize that if government(which I define as the enforcers of law) is the institution that we are are in fear of in the first place, then why would we think that a law/government would protect us. It is the law and the people who enforce it who violate us. I was hammered with the constitution = protection shit for so long. Everybody echoed it. The cops, the activists, my parents, my teachers and all the people that seemed rebellious. It took a lot of life experience to figure out that what they talk about and what happens are two completely different things.

First of all, I found out pretty young that a person under 18 has no guaranteed rights at all. Next I found out that I could be scolded, detained, and even jailed on the basis of what I might happen to say or write. Next I found out that it was very easy to be put in jail for exercising my “right to peaceably assemble” with my fellows in order to “petition the government for a redress of grievances”. It seemed to happen all the time.

I started noticing more parts of the constitution that aren’t the same thing in reality as they are in print.

In the second amendment it states very clearly, “…the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” This one was thrown away specifically because they government was in fear of the black panthers, who had started armed self policing. It is currently illegal to carry a gun if you are a felon, if it is concealed, if it is automatic, in public without a permit, etc. This clearly violates the second amendment, nowhere does it say “except when …..”.

The fifth amendment states, “…nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation”. Today all you have to do is be in possession of one molecule of any illegal drug and the government has the right to take everything you own and never pay you anything for it. Another clear violation.

In the seventh amendment says, “…the right of trial by jury shall be preserved,”. Today if I were on trial and I asked for my peers(homeless, poor) to be on the jury they would laugh at me. Along those same lines if a black man asked for a jury of only blacks, so as to insure that he would not get a biased, racist verdict against him, he would not be allowed it.

In the eighth amendment it says, “..nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.” What would you call death by electrocution, lethal injection, hanging and firing squad(the current “legal” methods)? After being alive and observing this government thing for awhile I noticed that they aim all attention and point all fingers at the protection the constitution gives us common people. They don’t really mention that all the words in the constitution are open to INTERPRETATION. The real issue to me is, who is in charge of interpreting it? It happens to be this thing we call the supreme court. Who is the supreme court? Wouldn’t you know it, it is nine people appointed by the president of the US. And who is the president? He is some mother fucker who is rich, powerful and connected enough to be elected. So to summarize the process: Some rich, white men make a constitution, Another rich, white man gets elected and appoints his rich, white buddies to interpret the constitution. Does that really protect you?

I didn’t really understand why they (founding fathers) would go through all the trouble of making all these documents and laws declaring men free an so forth until I read The People’s History of the United States. They were under pressure from both sides, on one side they needed to rid themselves of the British so they could be the new ruling class, on the other hand, they had to give enough concessions to the “regular” people so that they would agree to be used as soldiers by the “founding fathers”. Anyway if you haven’t read The People’s History you really should.

I have come to understand that the constitution was written by rich, white, slave-owning, large-scale land owning men. It was written to protect their interests far into the future. It was written to maintain their control. I came to this understanding just lately when I read a book called Refusing to be A Man, by John Stoltenberg. One of the chapters in the book was about pornography and a group of women who tried to enact a law that would declare pornography a violation against the civil rights of all women. Obviously the issue of the first amendment came up, because these women were trying to make the manufacture, sale and distribution of pornography illegal. At first I had the same reaction that anyone whose been thoroughly indoctrinated by the constitution = protection bullshit, I said to myself “they can’t do that, they are violating other people’s rights. And then I realized that I was working off of someone else’s definition of “violation” and “rights”. The people who wrote the first amendment were sexist, racist, classist, genocidal, ecocidal and greedy. They constructed a legal document to preserve the right to be a racist, to speak racist things, to print racist things, to be a misogynist, to print misogynist things, to say misogynist things, to print matter encouraging genocide; irregardless of whether the community affected by these things wants them or not. They have written a document to protect the rights and speech of the Klu Klux Klan and the American Nazi Party and the multi-national corporations and every other fascist capitalist pig there is. And until the end of time they will point to that “fact” that those same rights are extended to everybody else and they’ll say it’s fair. Even though they are the only one’s with the resources to print or broadcast ideas on a large scale.

So in conclusion I know today that if your speech, press, broadcast, t-shirt, billboard, etc. is harmful to myself or my fellows or life on the earth I am entirely within my rights to stop you, by whatever means I deem appropriate. Such actions are usually those of an individual protecting his/her own rights, not violating someone else’s.

Two days after Rosebud Denevo was killed on UC campus I went to a gathering in People’s Park. I heard an Ohlone (original inhabitants of the bay area, of which there are a few left) man speak. He said something about the white landlord’s karma crashing down on him. I thought that made a lot of sense at the time. I was living in a squat. The idea of land and housing being a commodity, that some people had the right to and other didn’t, a thing that could be left vacant while people went without, was clearly wrong to me.

It was very easy for me to then point the finger and property owners and absolve myself of any responsibility. The reality of it is that in the 1800’s there was no mad dash of rich land owners coming out west to get more. The clear majority of the people who came out west and settled were common folk. People like you and me. When they got here they found only a few obstacles to their settlement. Predators, geography, and Native Americans. The predator one scares the shit out of me but I think everybody was used to that sort of thing at the time. So the only real thing in the way were the Indians.

Depending on the geographical area, the natives were removed in a few different ways. I am going to list them one at a time and show their relation to our lives today. I believe that since a large part of the removal was done by ordinary poor white folks, that karmicaly we still have this shit coming back to haunt us.

1. Guns. Huge amounts of native populations were killed with guns. Sometimes by settlers, sometimes by the army in the name of clearing the land for the settlers. Today we have a huge problem with guns, about 40-50,000 people are killed by a firearm in the U.S. each year. Also the mentality that justifies killing whole peoples in order to take their shit has evolved to the point where we can at any minute annihilate all life on planet earth with nuclear weapons. Also we’re are all robbed in the form of taxes to pay for the unnecessary weapons.

2. Disease. Sometimes intentional, sometimes not. The lack of immunity to European diseases wiped out whole tribes of people. Today we are coming to the end of penicillin’s effectiveness. Each year we are encountering new strains, and new germs altogether that we can’t beat. This will continue to be a bigger and bigger problem, since penicillin resistance is only rising.

3. Alcohol. The introduction of alcohol to the native Americans with no prior history with alcohol, and therefore no prior darwinistic weeding out of the those who are alcoholic, took out many and started the process of destroying the family unit, that is so necessary in defeating a people. Today alcohol and drugs (which I’m including because I find them to be basically the same thing) kills about 50,000 people a year and ruins probably millions of family’s and individual lives each year.

4. Relocation. The continual process of signing treaties, moving a people to an unfamiliar place, over and over broke their spiritual connection to the land and made it easy to wipe them out. It also caused a great number of suicides. Today property as an ideal has justified the poisoning of the land, air and water, which in turn poisons us. Also today thousands of people die from exposure in the wealthiest nation on earth. Also most people in America are working for their landlords benefit and not their own.

5. Destruction/removal of the food supply. The main example of this is the killing of buffalo for fur in the plains. Also in a lot of places where Indians had been moved they were put in places without much natural game or land suitable for farming. In these situations the agents who were supposed to oversee the reservations were supposed to give out rations. Often these rations were never sent to the reservation or the agents would sell them to somebody else. Today we are paving some of the best farmland ( in the valley in California) on earth in order to build more condo’s and strip malls. The government pays farmers every year to not grow food in order to keep prices stable, meanwhile people die from starvation in America.

6. Trains. Trains were used to wipe out the buffalo, send in the army, send in the supplies, send out the settlers (the wealthier ones anyway). The train was the lifeblood of the removal of the Native American. Today trains/cars (which I consider the same thing in different time periods) produce enormous amounts of pollution which poisons us, removes exercise which makes us weak and sick, transports hazardous things everywhere. Not to mention the 40-50,000 people who are killed by cars per year and the 1 million people injured by car accidents yearly. So what I’m thinking is that we (as a race), have committed a huge error. It will come back to us one way or the other. I think it is a good time, right now, to figure out what would it mean to make amends for our actions. It’s pretty easy to say “I wasn’t even alive then ….”. That’s the same reasoning they are using to try to dismantle Affirmative Action. I figure we owe at lea

All the Land A complete cleaning and restoration of that Land.

Whatever work would be necessary to return their population levels to what they were before we got here.

A request for permission to stay on this continent before one assumes she/he has a right to be here.

“For America to Live, Europe Must Die”

The following speech was given by Russell Means in July 1980, before several thousand people who had assembled from all over the world for the Black Hills International Survival Gathering, in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

The only possible opening for a statement of this kind is that I detest writing. The process itself epitomizes the European concept of “legitimate” thinking; what is written has an importance that is denied the spoken. My culture, the Lakota culture, has an oral tradition, so I ordinarily reject writing. It is one of the white world’s ways of destroying the cultures of non-European peoples, the imposing of an abstraction over the spoken relationship of a people.

So what you read here is not what I have written. It is what I have said and someone else has written down. I will allow this because it seems that the only way to communicate with the white world is through the dead, dry leaves of a book. I don’t really care whether my words reach whites or not. They have already demonstrated through their history that they cannot hear, cannot see; they can only read (of course, there are exceptions, but the exceptions only prove the rule). I’m more concerned with the American Indian people, students and others, who have begun to be absorbed into the white world through universities and other institutions. But even then it’s a marginal sort of concern. It’s very possible to grow into a red face with a white mind; and if that’s a person’s individual choice, so be it, but I have no use for them. This is part of the process of cultural genocide being waged by Europeans against American Indian peoples’ today. My concern is with those American Indians who choose to resist this genocide, but may be confused as to how to proceed.

(You notice I use the term American Indian rather than Native American or Native indigenous people or Amerindian when referring to my people.) There has been some controversy about such terms, and frankly, at this point, I find it absurd. Primarily it seems that American Indian is being rejected as European in origin – which is true. But all the above terms are European in origin; the only non-European way is to speak of Lakota – or, more precisely, of Oglala, Brule, et. – and of the Dineh, the Miccousukee, and all the rest of the several hundred correct tribal names. (There is also some confusion about the word Indian , a mistaken belief that it refers somehow to the country, India. When Columbus washed up on the beach in the Caribbean, he was not looking for a country called India. Europeans were calling that country Hindustan in 1492. Look it up on the old maps. Columbus called the tribal people he met “Indio,” from the Italian in dio , meaning “in God.”)

It takes a strong effort on the part of each American Indian not to become Europeanized. The strength for this effort can only come from the traditional ways, the traditional values that our elders retain. It must come from the hoop, the four directions, the relations: it cannot come from the pages of a book or a thousand books. No European can ever teach a Lakota to be Lakota, a Hopi to be Hopi. A master’s degree in “Indian Studies” or in “education” or in anything else cannot make a person into a human being or provide knowledge into the traditional ways. It can only make you into a mental European, an outsider.

I should be clear about something here, because there seems to be some confusion about it. When I speak of Europeans or mental Europeans, I’m not allowing for false distinctions. I’m not saying that on the one hand there are the by-products of a few thousand years of genocidal, reactionary European intellectual development which is bad; and on the other hand there is some new revolutionary intellectual development which is good. I’m referring here to the so-called theories of Marxism and anarchism and “leftism” in general. I don’t believe these theories can be separated from the rest of the European intellectual tradition. It’s really just the same old song. The process began much earlier. Newton, for example, “revolutionized” physics and the so-called natural science by reducing the physical universe to a linear mathematical equation.

Descartes did the same thing with culture. John Locke did it with politics, and Adam Smith did it with economics. Each one of these “thinkers” took a piece of the spirituality of human existence and converted it into a code, an abstraction. They picked up where Christianity ended: they “secularized” Christian religion, as the “scholars” like to say – and in doing so they made Europe more able and ready to act as an expansionist culture. Each of these intellectual revolutions served to abstract the European mentality even further, to remove the wonderful complexity and spirituality from the universe and replace it with a logical sequence: one, two, three. Answer!. This is what has come to be termed “efficiency” in the European mind Whatever is mechanical is perfect; whatever seems to work at the moment – that is, proves the mechanical model to be the right one – is considered correct, even when it is clearly untrue. This is why “truth” changes so fast in the European mind; the answers which result from such a process are only stopgaps, only temporary, and must be continuously discarded in favor of new stopgaps which support the mechanical models and keep them (the models) alive.

Hegel and Marx were heirs to the thinking of Newton, Descartes, Locke and Smith. Hegel finished the process of secularizing theology – and that is put in his own terms – he secularized the religious thinking through which Europe understood the universe. Then Marx put Hegel’s philosophy in terms of “materialism,” which is to say that Marx despiritualized Hegel’s work altogether. Again, this is in Marx’ own terms. And this is now seen as the future revolutionary potential of Europe. Europeans may see this as revolutionary, But American Indians see it simply as still more of that same old European conflict between being and gaining . The intellectual roots of a new Marxist form of European imperialism lie in Marx’ – and his followers’ – links to the tradition of Newton, Hegel, and the others. Being is a spiritual proposition. Gaining is a material act.Traditionally, American Indians have always attempted to be the best people they could. Part of that spiritual process was and is to give away wealth, to discard wealth in order not to gain. Material gain is an indicator of false status among traditional people, while it is “proof that the system works” to Europeans. Clearly, there are two completely opposing views at issue here, and Marxism is very far over to the other side from the American Indian view. But lets look at a major implication of this; it is not merely an intellectual debate.

The European materialist tradition of despiritualizing the universe is very similar to the mental process which goes into dehumanizing another person. And who seems most expert at dehumanizing other people? And why? Soldiers who have seen a lot of combat learn to do this to the enemy before going back into combat. Murderers do it before going out to commit murder. Nazi SS guards did it to concentration camp inmates. Cops do it. Corporation leaders do it to the workers they send into uranium mines and steel mills. Politicians do it to everyone in sight. And what the process has in common for each group doing the dehumanizing is that it makes it all right to kill and otherwise destroy other people. One of the Christian commandments says, “Thou shalt not kill,” at least not humans, so the trick is to mentally convert the victims into nonhumans. Then you can proclaim violation of your own commandment as a virtue. In terms of the despiritualization of the universe, the mental process works so that it become virtuous to destroy the planet. Terms like progress and development are used as cover words here, the way victory and freedom are used to justify butchery in the dehumanization process. For example, a real-estate speculator may refer to “developing” a parcel of ground by opening a gravel quarry; development here means total, permanent destruction, with the earth itself removed. But European logic has gained a few tons of gravel with which more land can be “developed” through the construction of road beds. Ultimately, the whole universe is open – in the European view – to this sort of insanity.

Most important here, perhaps, is the fact that Europeans feel no sense of loss in this. After all, their philosophers have despiritualized reality, so there is no satisfaction (for them) to be gained in simply observing the wonder of a mountain or a lake or a people in being . No, satisfaction is measured in terms of gaining material. So the mountain becomes gravel, and the lake becomes coolant for a factory, and the people are rounded up for processing through the indoctrination mills Europeans like to call schools.

But each new piece of that “progress” ups the ante out in the real world. Take fuel for the industrial machine as an example. Little more than two centuries ago, nearly everyone used wood -a replenishable, natural item- as fuel for the very human needs of cooking and staying warm. Along came the Industrial Revolution and coal became the dominant fuel, as production became the social imperative for Europe. Pollution began to become a problem in the cities, and the earth was ripped open to provide coal whereas wood had simply been gathered or harvested at no great expense to the environment. Later, oil became the major fuel, as the technology of production was perfected through a series of scientific “revolutions.”

Pollution increased dramatically, and nobody yet knows what the environmental costs of pumping all that oil out of the ground will really be in the long run. Now there’s an “energy crisis,” and uranium is becoming the dominant fuel. Capitalists, at least, can be relied upon to develop uranium as fuel only at the rate at which they can show a good profit. That’s their ethic, and maybe that will buy some time. Marxists, on the other hand, can be relied upon to develop uranium fuel as rapidly as possible simply because it’s the most “efficient” production fuel available. That’s their ethic, and I fail to see where it’s preferable. Like I said, Marxism is right smack in the middle of the European tradition. It’s the same old song.

There’s a rule of thumb that can be applied here. You cannot judge the real nature of a revolutionary doctrine on the basis of the changes it proposed to make within the European power structure and society. You can only judge it by the effect it will have on non-European peoples. This is because every revolution in European history has served to reinforce Europe’s tendencies and abilities to export destruction to other peoples, other cultures and the environment itself. I defy anyone to point out an example where this is not true.

So now we, as American Indian people, are asked to believe that a “new” European revolutionary doctrine such as Marxism will reverse the negative effect of European history on us. European power relations are to be adjusted once again, and that’s supposed to make things better for all of us. But what does this really mean?

Right now, today, we who live on the Pine Ridge Reservation are living in what white society has designated a “National Sacrifice Area.” What this means is that we have a lot of uranium deposits here, and white culture (not us) needs this uranium as energy production material. The cheapest, most efficient way for industry to extract and deal with the processing of this uranium is to dump the waste by-products right here at the digging sites.

Right here where we live. This waste is radioactive and will make the entire region uninhabitable forever. This is considered by industry, and by the white society that created this industry, to be an “acceptable” price to pay for energy resource development. Along the way they also plan to drain the water table under this part of South Dakota as part of the industrial process, so the region becomes doubly uninhabitable. The same sort of thing is happening down in the land of the Navajo and Hopi, up in the land of the Northern Cheyenne and Crow, and elsewhere. Thirty percent of the coal in the West and half of the uranium deposits in the United States have been found to lie under reservation land, so there is no way this can be called a minor issue. We are resisting being turned into a National Sacrifice Area. We are resisting being turned into a national sacrifice people. The costs of this industrial process are not acceptable to us. It is genocide to dig uranium here and draw the water table – no more, no less.

Now let’s suppose that in our resistance to extermination we begin to seek allies (we have). Let’s suppose further that we were to take revolutionary Marxism at its word: that it intends nothing less than the complete overthrow of the European capitalist order which has presented this threat to our very existence. This would seem to be a natural alliance for American Indian people to enter into. After all, as the Marxists say, it is the capitalists who set us up to be a national sacrifice. This is true as far as it goes.

But, as I’ve tried to point out, this very “truth” is deceptive. Revolutionary Marxism is committed to even further perpetuation and perfection of the very industrial process which is destroying us all. It offers only to “redistribute” the results – the money, maybe – of this industrialization to a wider section of the population. It offers to take wealth from the capitalists and pass it around; but in order to do so, Marxism must maintain the industrial system. Once again, the power relations with European society will have to be altered, but once again the effects upon American Indian peoples here and non-Europeans elsewhere will remain the same. This much the same as when power was redistributed from the church to private business during the so-called bourgeois revolution. European society changed a bit, at least superficially, but its conduct toward non-Europeans continued as before. You can see what the American Revolution of 1776 did for American Indians. It’s the same old song.

Revolutionary Marxism, like industrial society in other forms, seeks to “rationalize” all people in relation to industry – maximum industry, maximum production. It is a materialist doctrine that despises the American Indian spiritual tradition, out cultures, our lifeways. Marx himself called us “precapitalists” and “primitive.” Precapitalist simply means that, in his view, we would eventually discover capitalism and become capitalists; we have always been economically retarded in Marxist terms. The only manner in which American Indian people could participate in a Marxist revolution would be to join the industrial system, to become factory workers, or “proletarians,” as Marx called them. The man was very clear about the fact that his revolution could occur only through the struggle of the proletariat, that the existence of a massive industrial system is a precondition of a successful Marxist society.

I think there is a problem with language here. Christians, capitalists, Marxists. All of them have been revolutionary in their own minds, but none of them really means revolution. What they really mean is a continuation. They do what they do in order that European culture can continue to exist and develop according to its needs. So, in order for us to really join forces with Marxism, we American Indians would have to accept the national sacrifice of our homeland; we would have to commit cultural suicide and become industrialized and Europeanized.

At this point, I’ve got to stop and ask myself whether I’m being too harsh. Marxism has something of a history. Does this history bear out my observations? I look to the process of industrialization in the Soviet Union since 1920 and I see that these Marxists have done what it took the English Industrial Revolution 300 years to do; and the Marxists did it in 60 years. I see that the territory of the USSR used to contain a number of tribal peoples and they have been crushed to make way for the factories. The Soviets refer to this as “the National Question,” the question of whether the tribal peoples had a right to exist as people; and they decided the tribal peoples were an acceptable sacrifice to industrial needs. I look to China and I see the same thing. I look to Vietnam and I see Marxists imposing an industrial order and rooting out the indigenous tribal mountain people.

I hear a leading Soviet scientist saying that when the uranium is exhausted, then alternatives will be found. I see the Vietnamese taking over a nuclear power plant abandoned by the U.S. military. Have they dismantled and destroyed it? No, they are using it. I see China exploding nuclear bombs, developing nuclear reactors, and preparing a space program in order to colonize and exploit the planets the same as the Europeans colonized and exploited this hemisphere. It’s the same old song, but maybe with a faster tempo this time. The statement of the Soviet scientists is very interesting. Does he know what this alternative energy source will be? No, he simply has faith. Science will find a way. I hear revolutionary Marxists saying that the destruction of the environment, pollution, and radiation will be controlled.

And I see them act on their words. Do they know how these things will be controlled? No, they simply have faith. Science will find a way. Industrialization is fine and necessary. How do they know this? Faith. Science will find a way. Faith of this sort has always been known in Europe as religion. Science has become the new European religion for both capitalists and Marxists; they are truly inseparable; they are part and parcel of the same culture. So, in both theory and practice, Marxism demands that non-European peoples give up their values, their traditions, their cultural experience altogether. We will all be industrialized science addicts in a Marxist society.

I do not believe that capitalism itself is really responsible for the situation in which American Indians have been declared a national sacrifice. No, it is the European tradition; European culture itself is responsible. Marxism is just the latest continuation of this tradition, not a solution to it. To ally with Marxism is to ally with the very same forces that declare us an acceptable cost.

There is another way. There is the traditional Lakota way and the ways of the other American Indian peoples. It is the way that knows that humans do not have the right to degrade Mother Earth, that there are forces beyond anything the European mind has conceived, that humans must be in harmony with all relations or the relations will eventually eliminate the disharmony. A lopsided emphasis on humans by humans – the European’s arrogance of acting as though they were beyond the nature of all related things – can only result in a total disharmony and a readjustment which cuts arrogant humans down to size, gives them a taste of that reality beyond their grasp or control and restores the harmony. There is no need for a revolutionary theory to bring this about; it’s beyond human control. The nature peoples of this planet know this and so they do not theorize about it. Theory is an abstract; our knowledge is real.

Distilled to it’s basic terms, European faith – including the new faith in science – equals a belief that man is God. Europe has always sought a Messiah, whether that be the man Jesus Christ or the man Karl Marx or the man Albert Einstein. American Indians know this to be truly absurd. Humans are the weakest of all creatures, so weak that other creatures are willing to give up their flesh that we may live. Humans are able to survive only though the exercise of rationality since they lack the abilities of other creatures to gain food through the use of fang and claw. But rationality is a curse since it can cause human beings to forget the natural order of things in ways other creatures do not. A wolf never forgets his or her place in the natural order. American Indians can. Europeans almost always do. We pray our thanks to the deer, our relations, for allowing us their flesh to eat; Europeans simply take the flesh for granted and consider the deer inferior. After all, Europeans consider themselves godlike in their rationalism and science. God is the Supreme Being; all else must be inferior.

All European tradition, Marxism included, has conspired to defy the natural order of things. Mother Earth has been abused, the powers have been abused, and this cannot go on forever. No theory can alter that simple fact. Mother Earth will retaliate, the whole environment will retaliate, and the abusers will be eliminated. Things will come full circle, back to where they started. That’s revolution. And that’s a prophecy of my people, of the Hopi people and of other correct peoples.

American Indians have been trying to explain this to Europeans for centuries. But, as I said earlier, Europeans have proven themselves unable to hear. The natural order will win out, and the offenders will die out, the way deer die when they offend the harmony by over populating a given region. It’s only a matter of time until what Europeans call “a major catastrophe of global proportions” will occur. It is the role of American Indian peoples, the role of all natural beings, to survive. A part of our survival is to resist. We resist not to overthrow a government or to take political power, but because it is natural to resist extermination, to survive. We don’t want power over white institutions; we want white institutions to disappear.

That’s revolution.

American Indians are still in touch with these realities – the prophecies, the traditions of our ancestors. We learn from the elders, from nature, from the powers. And when the catastrophe is over, we American Indian people will survive; harmony will be reestablished. That’s revolution.

At this point, perhaps I should be very clear about another matter, one which should already be clear as a result of what I’ve said. But confusion breeds easily these days, so I want to hammer home this point. When I use the term European , I’m not referring to a skin color or a particular genetic structure. What I’m referring to is a mind-set, a world view that is a product of the development of European culture. Peoples are not genetically encoded to hold this outlook, they are acculturated to hold it. The same is true for American Indians or for the members of any other culture.

It is possible for an American Indian to share European values, A European world view. We have a term for these people; we call them “apples” – red on the outside (genetics) and white on the inside (their values). Other groups have similar terms: Black have their “oreos;” Hispanos have “coconuts” and so on. And, as I said before, there are exceptions to the white norm: people who are white on the outside, but not white inside. I’m not sure what term should be applied to them other than “human beings.”

What I’m putting out here is not a racial proposition but a cultural proposition. Those who ultimately advocate and defend the realities of European culture and its industrialism are my enemies. Those who resist it, who struggle against it, are my allies, the allies of American Indian people. And I don’t give a damn what their skin color happens to be. Caucasian is the white term for the white race: European is an outlook I oppose.

The Vietnamese Communists are not exactly what you might consider genetic Caucasians, but they are now functioning as mental Europeans. The same holds true for the Chinese Communists, for Japanese capitalists or Bantu Catholics or Peter “MacDollar” down at the Navajo reservation or Dickie Wilson up here at Pine Ridge. There is no racism involved in this, just an acknowledgment of the mind and spirit that make up culture.

In Marxist terms I suppose I’m a “cultural nationalist.” I work first with my people, the traditional Lakota people, because we hold a common world view and share an immediate struggle. Beyond this, I work with other traditional American Indian peoples, again because of a certain commonality in world view and form of struggle. Beyond that, I work with anyone who has experienced the colonial oppression of Europe and who resists its cultural and industrial totality. Obviously, this includes genetic Caucasians who struggle to resist the dominant norms of European culture. The Irish and the Basques come immediately to mind, but there are many others. I work primarily with my own people, with my own community. Other people who hold non-European perspectives should do the same. I believe in the slogan, “Trust your brother’s vision,” although I’d like to add sisters in the bargain. I trust the community and the culturally based vision of all the races that naturally resist industrialization and human extinction. Clearly, individual whites can share in this, given only that they have reached the awareness that continuation of the industrial imperatives of Europe is not a vision, but species suicide. White is one of the sacred colors of the Lakota people – red, yellow, white and black. The four directions. The four seasons. The four period of life and aging. The four races of humanity. Mix red, yellow, white and black together and you get brown, the color of the fifth race. This is the natural order of things. It therefore seems natural to me to work with all races, each with it’s own special meaning, identity and message. But there is a peculiar behavior among most Caucasians. As soon as I become critical of Europe and its impact on other cultures, they become defensive. They begin to defend themselves. But I am not attacking them personally; I’m attacking Europe. In personalizing my observations on Europe they are personalizing European culture, identifying themselves with it.By defending themselves in this context, they are ultimately defending the death culture. This is a confusion which must be overcome, and it must be overcome in a hurry. None of us has energy to waste in such false struggles.

Caucasians have a more positive vision to offer humanity than European culture. I believe this. But in order to attain this vision it is necessary for Caucasians to step outside European culture – alongside the rest of humanity – to see Europe for what it is and what it does. To cling to capitalism and Marxism and all the other “isms” is simply to remain within European culture. There is no avoiding this basic fact. As a fact, this constitutes a choice. Understand that the choice is based on culture, not race. Understand that to choose European culture and industrialism is to choose to be my enemy. And understand that the choice is yours, not mine. This leads me back to address those American Indians who are drifting through the universities, the city slums, and other European institutions. If you are there to learn to resist the oppressor in accordance with your traditional ways, so be it. I don’t know how you manage to combine the two, but perhaps you will succeed. But retain your sense of reality. Beware of coming to believe the white world now offers solutions to the problems it confronts us with. Beware, too, of allowing the words of native people to be twisted to the advantage of our enemies. Europe invented the practice of turning words around on themselves. You need only look to the treaties between American Indian peoples and various European governments to know that this is true. Draw your strength from who you are.

A culture which regularly confuses revolution with continuation, which confuses science and religion, which confuses revolt with resistance, has nothing helpful to teach you and nothing to offer you as a way of life. Europeans have long since lost all touch with reality, if they ever were in touch with it. Feel sorry for them if you need to, but be comfortable with who you are as American Indians.

So, I suppose to conclude this, I would state clearly that leading anyone toward Marxism is the last thing on my mind. Marxism is as alien to my culture as capitalism and Christianity are. In fact, I can say I don’t think I’m trying to lead anyone toward anything. To some extent I tried to be a “leader,” in the sense that white media like to use that term, when the American Indian Movement was a young organization. This was a result of a confusion that I no longer have. You cannot be everything to everyone. I do not propose to be used in such a fashion by my enemies. I am not a leader. I am an Oglala Lakota patriot. This is all I want and all I need to be. And I am very comfortable with who I am.

The Covert War Against Native Americans
by Ward Churchill
There is a little considered aspect of the covert means through which the United States maintains its perpetual drive to exert control over the territory and resources of others. It concerns, however, matters internal rather than external to the geographical corpus of the U.S. itself. It seems appropriate to quote a man deeply involved in the struggle for African liberation, Kwame Toure’ (formerly known as Stokley Carmichael). In a speech delivered at the Yellow Thunder demonstrations in Rapid City, South Dakota, on October 1, 1982, he said:

We are engaged in a struggle for the liberation of ourselves as a people. In this, there can be neither success nor even meaning unless the struggle is directed toward the liberation of our land, for a people without land cannot be liberated. We must reclaim the land, and our struggle is for the land-first, foremost, and always. We are people of the land.

So in Africa, when you speak of “freeing the land,” you are at the same time speaking about the liberation of the African people. Conversely, when you speak of liberating the people, you are necessarily calling for the freeing of the land.

But, in America, when we speak of liberation, what can it mean? We must ask ourselves, in America, who are the people of the land? And the answer is-and can only be-the first Americans, the Native Americans, the American Indian. In the United States of America, when you speak of liberation, or when you speak of freeing the land, you are automatically speaking of the American Indians, whether you realize it or not. Of this, there can be no doubt.

Those in power in the United States understand these principles very well. They know that even under their own laws aboriginal title precedes and preempts other claims, unless transfer of title to the land was is or agreed to by the original inhabitants. They know that the only such agreements to which they can make even a pretense are those deriving from some 371 treaties entered into by the U.S. with various Indian nations indigenous to North America.

Those in power in America know very well that, in consolidating its own national landbase, the United States has not only violated every single one of those treaties, but that it remains in a state of perpetual violation to this day. Thus, they know they have no legal title-whether legality be taken to imply U.S. law, international law, Indian law, natural law, or all of these combined-to much of what they now wish to view as the territoriality of the United States proper. Finally, they are aware that to acquire even a semblance of legal title, title which stands a chance of passing the informed scrutiny of both the international community and much of its own citizenry, the U.S. must honor its internal treaty commitments, at the very least. Herein lies the dilemma: In order to do this, the U.S. would have to return much of its present geography to the various indigenous nations holding treaty-defined and reserved title to it (and sovereignty over it). The only alternative is to continue the violation of the most fundamental rights of Native Americans while pretending the issues do not exist. Of course, this is the option selected-both historically and currently-by U.S. policy-makers.

It is precisely from the dynamics of this situation that overt liberation organizations such as the American Indian Movement (AIM), the International Indian Treaty Council, and Women of All Red Nations were born. Insofar as their struggles are based in the reaffirmation of the treaty rights of North America’s indigenous nations, theirs is a struggle for the land. In essence, their positions imply nothing less than the literal dismantlement of the modern American empire from the inside out.

The stakes involved are tremendous. The “Great Sioux” of Lakota Nation alone holds clear treaty rights over some 5% of the area within the present 48 contiguous states. The Anishinabe (Chippewa) are entitled to at least another 4%. The Dine’ (Navajo) already hold between 3% and 4%. Most of California has been demonstrated to have been taken illegally from nations such as the Pomo and Luisano. Peoples such as the Wampanoag, Narragansett, and Pasamadoquoddi-long believed to have been exterminated-have suddenly rematerialized to press treaty-based and aboriginal claims to much of New England. The list is well over 300 names long. It affects every quarter of the contemporary United States.

Vast Natural Resources At Stake
Today, more than 60% of all known U.S. uranium reserves are under reservation lands, and another 10-15% lies under contested treaty areas. Similarly, approximately one-third of all minable low-sulphur coal lies under reservations, while the figure easily exceeds 50% when treaty areas are lumped in. With natural gas, the data are about 15% under reservations, 15% under contested lands. The same holds true for oil. Almost all American deposits of minable zeolites are under reservation land. Very significant strategic reserves of bauxite, copper, iron, and other crucial minerals are also at issue.

Giving all this up-or even losing a modicum of control over it-is an obviously unacceptable proposition to U.S. policy makers and corporate leaders. In order to remain a superpower (in both the military and economic senses of the term), the U.S. must tighten rather than relax its grip upon its “assets.” Hence, given its priorities, America has had little choice but to conduct what amounts to a clandestine war against American Indians, especially of the AIM variety.

The Propaganda War
In pursuing such a policy the U.S. power elite has replicated the tactics and conditions more typically imposed on its colonies abroad. First, there is the matter of “grey and black propaganda” through which U.S. covert agencies, working hand in glove with the mainstream media, distort or fabricate information concerning the groups they have targeted. The function of such a campaign is always to deny with plausibility public sympathy or support to the groups in question, to isolate them and render them vulnerable to physical repression or liquidation. As concerns AIM, grey propaganda efforts have often centered upon contentions (utterly unsubstantiated) that the “Indian agenda” is to dispossess non-Indians of the home-owner, small farmer or rancher type living within the various treaty areas.

[This flies directly in the face of the formal positions advanced by the AIM and associated groups working on treaty land issues. AIM has consistently held that it seeks lands held by the U.S. and various state governments (such as National and State Parks, National Forests and Grasslands, Bureau of Land Management areas, etc.) as well as major corporate holdings within the treaty areas.

Small landholders would be allowed to remain and retain their property under “landed immigrant provisions” or, in some cases, naturalization.] In terms of black propaganda, there have been a number of highly publicized allegations of violence which, once disproven, were allowed to die without further fanfare. This has been coupled to “leaks” from official government sources that AIM is a “terrorist” organization.

[This is based on testimony of a single informer at a hearing at which the AIM leadership was denied the right to cross-examine or to testify.]

The propaganda efforts have, in large part, yielded the desired effect, souring not only the average American citizen’s perception of AIM, but-remarkably-that of the broader U.S. internal opposition as well. The latter have been so taken in upon occasion as to parrot the government/corporate line that Indian land claims are “unrealistic,” “not feasible,” and ultimately a “gross unfairness to everyone else.” Repression and Liquidation With the isolation of Native American freedom fighters effectively in hand, the government’s clandestine organizations have been free to pursue programs of physical repression within America’s internal colonies of exactly the same sort practiced abroad. At one level, this has meant the wholesale jailing of the movement’s leadership. Virtually every known AIM leader in the United States has been incarcerated in either state or federal prisons since (or even before) the organization’s formal emergence in 1968, some repeatedly. This, in combination with accompanying time spent in local jails awaiting trial, the high costs of bail and legal defense, and the time spent undergoing a seemingly endless succession of trials, is calculated both to drain the movement’s limited resources and to cripple its cadre strength.

[To cite but one example of this principle at work: Despite a ceasefire agreement assuring non-prosecution of AIM and traditional Indian people relative to the 1973 Wounded Knee occupation, the FBI proceeded to amass more than 300,000 separate file entries for judicial use against the people in question. Russell Means, an occupation leader, was charged with more than 140 separate offenses as a result; his trials encumbered the next three years of his life, before he went to prison for a year. There are many such cases.] Even more directly parallel to the performance of U.S. covert agencies abroad is physical repression conducted at another level, that of outright cadre liquidation. For example, in the post-Wounded Knee context of South Dakota’s Pine Ridge Lakota Reservation, independent researcher Candy Hamilton established that at least 342 AIM members and supporters were killed by roving death squads aligned with and supported by the FBI. (The death squads called themselves GOONs, “Guardians of the Oglala Nation.”) This was between 1973 and 1976 alone. In proportion to the population of the reservation, this is a rate of violent death some 12 or 14 times greater than that prevailing in Detroit, the so-called “murder capital of America.” In a more political sense, it is greater than the violent death rate experienced in Uruguay during the anti-Tupamaro repression there, in Argentina under the worst of its succession of juntas, or in El Salvador today. The statistics are entirely comparable to what happened in Chile in the immediate aftermath of Pinochet’s coup. As is currently the case in El Salvador, where the Reagan administration contends that the police are understaffed and underequipped to identify and apprehend death squad members, the FBI-which is charged with major crimes in reservation areas-pleaded “lack of manpower” in solving the long list of murders involving AIM people. (The FBI saturation of the Pine Ridge area was greater on a per capita basis than anywhere else in the country during this period.)

[To date, of the murders documented by Hamilton, *none* has been solved. On the other hand, the FBI experienced no such personnel problems in identifying and “bringing to justice” AIM people accused of murder. The most famous example is Leonard Peltier, accused of killing two FBI agents on Pine Ridge in 1975; pursued in what the Bureau itself termed “the biggest manhunt in history,” and convicted in what turned out to be a sham trial, Peltier is currently serving a double life sentence. See, “The Ordeal of Leonard Peltier,” by William M. Kunstler]

More to the point than this transparent rationale for inaction is the case of Anna Mae Pictou Aquash. A young Micmac woman working with AIM on Pine Ridge, Aquash was told outright during the fall of 1975 by federal agent David Price (who was involved in the assassinations of Mark Clark and Fred Hampton [Black Panther leaders] in Chicago in 1969, and who has been involved more recently in paramilitary operations against the Republic of New Afrika) that “You’ll be dead within a year.” Aquash’s body was found less than six months later, dumped in a ravine in the northeast quadrant of the reservation. A pathologist hired by the government determined her death as being due to “exposure.” An independent pathologist readily discovered she had died as a result of a .38 calibre slug entering the back of her head at a pointblank range.

Nor is Pine Ridge the only locale in which this clandestine war has been conducted. Richard Oaks, leader of the 1970 occupation of Alcatraz Island by “Indians of All Tribes,” was gunned down in California the following year. Shortly thereafter, Hank Adams, a fishing rights leader in Washington state, was shot in the stomach. Larray Cacuse, a Navajo AIM leader, was shot to death in Arizona in 1972. In 1979, AIM leader John Trudell was preparing to make a speech in Washington, DC. He was told by FBI personnel that, if he gave his speech, there would be “consequences.” Trudell not only made his speech, calling for the U.S. to get out of North America and detailing the nature of federal repression in Indian country, he burned a U.S. flag as well. That night, his wife, mother-in-law, and three children were “mysteriously” burned to death at their home on the Duck Valley Reservation in Nevada.

What has been related here is but a tiny fraction of the full range of events-facts intended only to illustrate the much broader pattern of covert activities directed against the American Indian Movement for well over a decade. It is hoped that the reader will attain a greater appreciation for the similarities between the nature of U.S. clandestine operations abroad and those conducted at home; the parallels are not always as figurative as is commonly supposed.

Further, it is hoped that the reader might become more attuned to the “why” of such seemingly aberrant circumstances: that the liberation of Native Americans fits well within the more global anti-imperialist struggles waged elsewhere, as the quotation from Kwame Toure’ indicates. AIM presents the same sort of threat to the U.S. status quo as do land-based movements in Asia, Latin America, Africa, and the Middle East. This situation, so little known in America, has been recognized in locations as diverse as Nicaragua, Vietnam, Libya, Iran, Cuba, Mozambique, Ireland, Palestine, and Switzerland, through the work of the International Indian Treaty Council. It is high time that it was fully realized by those among the broad progressive opposition within the United States itself.

African-Americans account for:
12% of the US population
13% of drug users in US
35% of arrests for drug possession in US
55% of conviction for drug possession in US
74% of prison sentences for drug possession in US
What does this drug policy do to the black community?
At the present time, one fourth of all of the young black men in America are either in prison or on parole. Most of them were arrested on non-violent drug charges.
In Washington DC, half of all black men in the city are currently in jail or on parole. More than ninety percent have arrest records. The same is true of inner city black men in Baltimore, New York, New Jersey and Florida.

Two thirds of all of today’s black male high school students will be dead, disabled, or in prison before their thirtieth birthday. The majority will go to prison because of non-violent drug charges. For every black man who goes to college three will go to prison. By the year 2000 about half of all black men in America will have gone to prison. Most of them will go to prison for non-violent drug charges. Most of those who go to prison will be released into society again. Because they are black men with a prison record they will be permanently unemployable.

So what does it all mean? Well first of all it means that the family unit is being destroyed, no Dad’s anywhere. It means that every one in my neighborhood has accepted jails as an unavoidable part of their lives. It means that the biggest political lobby is the prison workers lobby. It means the politicians are bought by the prison workers lobbies more than anyone else. It means that the politicians will keep building prisons and bankrupt the state. It means we will continually ignore the fact that it costs less to put a black man through the University of California than it does to keep him in prison. It means that every felony offender who gets out and can’t get work because of his prior convictions has to make a living somehow. It means that when he commits another crime to make a living and is caught, he will be working for 35 cents per hour rather than the current minimum wage. For an eight hour day that means he makes $2.80. The relative worth of the food and shelter he would have received as a slave 300 years ago is probably a lot more than $2.80 per day. It means that the people who used to make the products (and get paid union wages ) that he now makes are out of work.

If you pay state taxes then you are paying to lock up all these men. Wouldn’t you rather have a choice? Wouldn’t you rather send them to college instead? It would cost you less.

David Nadel was a man who ran a club in Berkeley. It was about three blocks away from 924 Gilman. When Gilman opened ten years ago David helped us get the permit. He had about a billion benefits for all sorts of people and things. He put a lot of time and energy into making sure the volleyball courts in people’s park were never used. He was a friend of mine.

This December he was shot in the head and killed. I was at a bart station waiting to meet my Aunt Jackie, she’s always late so I dug a newspaper out of the trash can. On the front page when I got to the bottom of the front page I saw a headline that said something like “Berkeley club owner shot.” I thought about 924 for a second and realized that there is no owner. So I read on.

Apparently a guy was drunk and was bothering people. David talked to him and he calmed down. Then he started doing it again, David escorted him out of the club. He then called the police. The police came and hassled some guy down the street and left. They never walked into the address that the call was made from and they never talked to the person who made the call. Losers. Anyway the guy came back and shot David in the head. He was in a coma for awhile and then he died. David is the eighth person I have known who has died in the last three and a half years from totally unnatural causes. One suicide, two od’s, one stabbing, two gun murders, one alcohol induced seizure and one kidney failure due to prior drug use.

The thing that was different this time was that it was in the paper and on the news. It got me to thinking about how many times I’ve read a paper about some disgruntled employee shooting everyone at his/her work, and me laughing cuz I thought it was so hilarious. Every day there are probably thousands of groups in America getting together to deal with their pain and grief over losing someone unnecessarily. Whether it be by the gun or the car or the cops or suicide or accident, it’s all pretty much the same if you are the person’s relation.

I was wondering what could bring me to the place where I could be cut off entirely from the pain present in someone else’s grief.

I thought it probably has something to do with the word apart. Apartment, compartment(car), compartment(job), compartment(self-interest), compartment(punk, rocker, mod, etc.). We don’t just objectify women. We objectify everything and everyone.

For one brief moment I got a glimpse of what would happen if we weren’t totally cut apart from each other. Every day we would all mourn the murders and other premature deaths that happen in our respective towns and cities. Everything would just stop. No one would be able to go to work or do anything else except grieve. It would be pretty disruptive, but it is how I have come to understand taking care of myself today. It sure beats the hell out of taking the stance of the macho idiot who can’t have his feelings and who uses his friends deaths as just one more notch on his “rough life, I’m so tough” belt.

I started working when I was about 13 1/2 years old. My first job was a volunteer job where I ran up this big hill from the box office of a music venue, to the back stage. My job was to deliver messages to some average working people and to some very famous people. When I turned 14 I started to work for pay, in a print shop. We used to goof around most of the time, serving customers, sniffing the chemicals, and trying to figure out how we could print money. Both of these first jobs had the element of having to serve other people. Unfortunately, these jobs laid the idea in my head that it was o.k. to earn money serving other people and it lead to the next 18 years, day after day, of serving people one way or one thing after another. I rented cars, sold typewriters, served food, served alcohol, served coffee, sold jewelry, sold clothes and I sat at a couple of desks, trying to give people directions to here and there.

I made the most money serving alcohol, basically because me and some other people gave most of it away and the customers tipped us a lot for the free drinks. Serving food for money is one of my least favorite jobs because you actually see what goes on in the kitchen. One time in New York in a fancy place I was working, a mouse fell down from the ceiling, right into the salad dressing, one of the cooks pulled the mouse out and we kept on serving the dressing. I have seen countless pieces of meat dropped on the floor just to be put back on the grill and then served to the customer with a smile (often mine).

About five years ago I got sober, and I couldn’t continue serving alcohol like I had been. I took a job serving the next best legal drugs…coffee and tea. Being newly sober I thought it was o.k. for me to consume gallons of coffee, which was now free, I never thought about the fact that it was so addictive. After about a year passed, I came out of my detox fog and I realized that I had been serving the same 500 customers every day, some times 3 times a day (the place I worked is very well known for their high octane brew). I started to face the fact that once again I could classify myself as the dope dealer, just like when I was selling booze. The customers would be mostly in a foul mood before they got their first cup, the second time around you could totally feel their fake energy, by the third cup they are usually already burnt out, it’s really sickening. I have had customers bang on the door after we were closed, begging for one more cup, as well as banging on the door at 6 a.m. trying to get us to open the doors according to their schedule. Shortly after my first year, I pretty much quit drinking coffee and switched to tea.

The thing that happened to me at this company could happen to most anyone at almost any company today. When I started, they had 11 stores after being in business for 25 years. All of the stores were very local to the bay area and there was the general feeling that they (the company) would never expand more than how long it would take to drive the fresh coffee within a day. Well the years have gone by ( a total of 4 1/2 ) and the company is now 31 stores and planning to expand another 14 in the L.A. area in 1997. The reason I had stayed working with them for so long was something referred to as “Golden Handcuffs”–medical and dental benefits, holiday and sick time paid, not to forget the free caffinated drugs. I was making an o.k. hourly wage for serving coffee but then I started to realize that I wasn’t just serving coffee, there was a lot more going on.

I started to put the pieces together. My partner was reading a book called The Managed Heart, Commercialization of Human Feeling by A. Hochschild. It talked about how we in the service industry are required to smile, act phony, and when a male customer would try to make a pass at me I was supposed to politely ignore it, even though I was trapped behind the counter, totally on display. I have seen customers take advantage of the fact that we are on display, both men and women. I have had to endure abusive language, have been touched by strangers, have been threatened by customers and most recently it was requested that I clean a customer’s house because I did such a good job dusting at work. When I would come home from a day at work I would have already served about 500 people by 11:30 a.m., emotionally this left me drained and very difficult to fully participate in activities the rest of the day. My physical health really began to become affected by this work, tendinitis, sore back, burns, aches and pains on a regular basis, working is just not worth giving up my physical self. I really started to hear the word service in customer service and it made me feel rotten. I also had to take a look at the fact that over the summer I quit drinking caffeine entirely and here I was serving it. I was also becoming more angry at the fact that the company I was working for was making millions of dollars, while the people who were picking the coffee and tea were not even making living wages off their brutal labor and I was supporting that by selling coffee and tea. And because I was willing to share my opinion with any customer who asked, my boss at work decided to infringe on my First Amendment right and told me what I could and could not say. This was the final straw. One morning I WOKE UP…and decided they could have their “Golden Handcuffs”. I QUIT. That morning I WOKE UP I had this overwhelming feeling that I should be serving people in a realistic capacity. I want to help people, not help them feed their addictions. I have the most respect for people who work in the service industry, it is an intense way to spend a day.

Last issue I wrote about some stuff that had happened at the gilman street project. Someone accused another person of getting them drunk until they passed out and trying to rape them. The club formed a committee to investigate and try and figure out what to do. After about 5 weeks it became apparent that the committee members were to afraid of what might happen if they actually did something, so they just stalled and stalled. Eventually I found out that the person in question had tried to molest a kid who I have come to love as my brother.

I quit the committee and wrote a few paragraphs that basically explained what I found and asked for a boycott of the perpetrators business. I e-mailed it to anyone I could find on the internet who had anything to do with punk.

I knew that this would be construed as a conflict of interest because of my involvement on the committee. I didn’t really care. People are obviously more important than petty politics.

So the long and the short of it is that our scene decided that, the real problem was my actions and that conflict of interest is a horrible travesty and RAPE and PEDOPHILIA are no big deal.

Oh well.

Work by Cynthia.
For America to Live, Europe Must Die spoken by Russel Means.
The Covert War Against Native Americans by Ward Churchill
The rest by Jeff.

My World 6

Welcome to My World#6. I’m really starting to do these things quite a bit faster now. I’m getting a lot more help in the form of other people writing things for me. Living inside has been doing me good. Since I got clean 25 months ago I’ve gained about 55 pounds. On the down side, I lost another friend in a drug related murder. His name was Chris, he was from Arcata/Eureka. This makes number six in terms of just drug/alcohol induced or related deaths within my circle of relations in the last three years. I think I’m about done with the so called community here in the east bay. It doesn’t have much to offer me. It doesn’t seem like it has much to offer in general. Sure there’s a lot of political stuff going on, but what good is that if you are dead?

I’m hoping to move out of here next summer.

Also it looks like the city of Berkeley is going to finally get away with criminalizing sitting, sleeping and asking for change. Which definitely makes it time for me to go. Follow up from #3, the Bart cop officer Crabtree that murdered Jerold Hall for no reason was found dead hanging from his bedroom ceiling in what his girlfriend described as a “weird sexual practice”. Justice.

cult (kîlt) n.
1.a. A religion or religious sect generally considered to be extremist or false, with its followers often living in an unconventional manner under the guidance of an authoritarian, charismatic leader. b. The followers of such a religion or sect.
2. A system or community of religious worship and ritual.
3. The formal means of expressing religious reverence; religious ceremony and ritual.
4. A usually nonscientific method or regimen claimed by its originator to have exclusive or exceptional power in curing a particular disease.
5.a. Obsessive, especially faddish, devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing. b. The object of such devotion.
6. An exclusive group of persons sharing an esoteric, usually artistic or intellectual interest.

I recently read a book that got me thinking about what we call manhood. It’s called Refusing to be a Man, by John Stoltenberg. The basic premise is that what has come to be called manhood is not a naturally occurring phenomenon. I always thought that was the case but I never really thought about how the whole thing was put into place. I couldn’t really put it all together in my mind until I stumbled onto the idea of putting the concept of “manhood” into the context of a Cult.

When I was younger I was apprehended by a cult called the O.T.O. or Ordo Templi Orientis. They did the usual cult things to get kids into their cult. They gave out a lot of free pot and speed. They attracted guys with the allure of sex from their women, and visa versa. They presented the promise of being able to reveal the mysteries and secrets of magical power and so on. Personally I was into the speed and the “free love”, so I hung out with them and they happened to move into the house where I was crashing at the time. I was lucky, I was such an addict that I was too interested in getting more dope in my arm, and I never ended up joining them. None the less when I started to back away from them, one of them tried to stab me. Every time I try to question them there are more implied threats of violence/death, even today. The reason I said that I was glad I never joined is because the penalty for unjoining or resignation is supposed to be death.

So any way once I started thinking about my experience with them I realized that it was basically the same experience as the one I had with being socialized into my gender role.

This goes in two stages:

1. Lures and Encouragement

2. Threats of violence or actual violence for lack of compliance

When I was little they tried to lure me into the manhood thing by showing me the advantages it held for me, power over the women, being higher on the hierarchy ladder, etc. They told me lots of lies about why it made sense to not have my emotions. They told me I was good and/or rewarded me when I played with guns and trucks and dirt and sports equipment. There are probably tens of thousands of examples but if you are male I probably don’t need to tell you about them cuz you already know. The basic equation is that if you act in accordance with how they defined your gender you get praise and encouragement.

On the other hand if I didn’t go along with their brand of manhood a very different reaction would occur. It would usually be something like, “when your father gets home I’m going to tell him and he’s going to…” or I would get beaten with something out of the drawer of the kitchen or they would laugh at me in a way to intentionally shame me. If it wasn’t my parents and it was my peers or my brother, they would call you a sissy and a faggot and if you didn’t immediately disprove that you weren’t a sissy then they took that as permission to beat you when ever they felt like it.

So today things aren’t much different. Out in the world most of the “men ” are still out there trying to prove their “manhood”. I’ve gotten pretty good at avoiding them, but sometimes it’s impossible. It’s always the same thing, they violate your space until you give some sort of reaction to acknowledge their action, then they do the physical intimidation thing to prove that they don’t have to abide by any sort of agreed upon social conduct. The stupid thing is that these are the same asshole’s who are constantly verbalizing the American worker’s mantra “yes sir, no sir, kiss your ass sir? oh, of course sir!”, at work. They are probably trying to prove their “manhood” all the time because they feel so powerless inside.

I find it most difficult to call people on their sexism when they are people inside the punk scene. I guess I still hold the fear instilled in me that if I question them they will take back their approval of me or that they will publicly question my “manhood” or that they will react violently.

There is this other part of manhood I noticed. It is the structure called hierarchy.

There were once kings. If the king abused, taxed and violated everyone equally no one would tolerate it, they would collectively kick his ass. However if every man was told that he was the king of his own family then he wouldn’t have to redirect the abuse back to the original abuser, he could just take it out on his wife and kids. This is the same way that manhood resembles a cult, there is someone at the top who receives all the benefits and privileges. This might sound a little weird but you know what they say.

A man’s home is his castle.

Furthermore it hasn’t been until lately that some women aren’t considered property. Also children are still legally considered property until they are eighteen years old.

So sometimes I get kind of discouraged because sometimes it seems punk is built on a foundation of “manhood” and not much else. It makes me wonder how much I want to invest (emotionally, physically, intellectually) into punk. It all seems like macho guys, subservient worshiping women, stratified classes that include a “ruling class”, arena rock star attitudes, etc.

I have been finding it increasingly helpful to try to define for myself what manhood could/should be:

A man should be emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually available to his partner.

A man should be emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually available to his children.

A man should be emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually available to his community.

A man should strive to nurture his family and his community.

A man should be responsible for respecting his connection to the Earth and her inhabitants by not harvesting resources beyond his own needs.

A man should not only be present for his own children but also to the other children in his community.

In a sexual relationship a man should be primarily concerned with the new life he may be creating rather than his own personal want for sexual release.

A man should find himself a gender identity through the experience of being a responsible, respectful man rather than proving it with sexual or violent conquest.

A man should take responsibility for speaking his mind to the other men and not withholding his opinions and feelings on the basis of their common gender.

A man should act in defense of his family and community in a way that might include violence but does not necessarily include violence.

A man should abandon the notion of POWER OVER.

A man should embrace the notion of POWER OF.

Finally, I thought I should reprint the page from John Stoltenberg’s book that set the spark in my mind.

“All the time I was growing up, I knew that there was something really problematic in my relationship to manhood. Inside, deep inside, I never believed I was fully male-I never believed I was growing up enough of a man. I believed the someplace out there, in other men, there was something that was genuine authentic all-american manhood-the real stuff-but I didn’t have it: not enough of it to convince me anyway, even if I managed to be fairly convincing to those around me. I felt like an impostor, like a fake. I agonized a lot about not feeling male enough, and I had no idea then how much
I was not alone.
Then I read those words-those words that suggested to me for the first time that the notion of manhood is a cultural delusion, a baseless belief, a false front, a house of cards. It’s not true. The category I was trying so desperately to belong to, to be a member of in good standing-it doesn’t exist. Poof. Now you see it, now you don’t. Now you’re terrified your not really part of it; now your free, you don’t have to worry anymore. However removed you feel inside from “authentic manhood”, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the center inside of yourself-and how you live, and how you treat people, and what you can contribute as you pass through life on this earth, and how honestly you love, and how carefully you make choices. Those are the things that really matter. Not whether you’re a real man. There’s no such thing.”

1. Are you afraid of your partner?

2. Do you feel like you have to walk on pins and needles sometimes to keep your partner from getting angry?

3. Has your partner ever hit, slapped, or pushed you?

4. Do you ever feel like you deserve to be punished?

5. Do you ever feel like you’ve done something wrong but you just can’t figure out what it is?

6. Have you lost all respect or love for your partner?

7. Is your partner very good to you most of the time — sometimes downright wonderful, but every once in a while very cruel or scary?

8. Does your partner drive you crazy or make you feel like you’re going crazy?

9. Do you find yourself sometimes thinking of ways of killing your partner?

10. Have you believed that your partner would kill you?

11. Have you been told by your partner that he or she would kill you?

12. Has your partner threatened to commit suicide?

13. Were you abused as a child?

14. Have you been forced by your partner to do something you didn’t want to do?

15. Have you lost all or most of your friends since you’ve been with your partner?

16. Do you feel isolated, like there’s nowhere to turn for help, and that no one would believe you anyway?

17. Have you lost a job because of your partner?

18. Do you feel emotionally numb?

19. Do you feel like you have to say that you’re doing okay even when you really aren’t?

20. Are you afraid to tell anybody about what’s going on in your life because you don’t want your partner to get in trouble or go to jail?

21. Have you ever been in a relationship where you could have answered yes to these questions, but right now you’re past all that?

Did you see yourself or a friend in that?

Five years ago, I could have answered YES!! to all of these questions and that’s exactly what I did. About 8 years ago, I was living in NYC, enjoying what I thought was a very grown-up life. I thought I was totally cool, bartending, making lots of cash, meeting people everywhere, doing lots of drugs and alcohol and living alone. One night I went to this club and this guy offered to sell me some ecstasy. That was the drug that was popular, and I never turned anything down. (The rest of this story will demonstrate where addiction took me and the types of pitiful decisions I chose to make.) So the x-dealer saw me as an easy target and hung around that night–I invited him to my house–the drugs continued to flow, etc. The next 36 hours is pretty much a blur but somewhere in there, during sex, the dealer freaked out and tried to strangle me. I was terrified…in a t-shirt and little else, I climbed out of my second story window and hung from a tree, crying, scared and still deeply under the influence. The dealer was quite a salesman–extremely good looking, dangerous and an excellent smooth talker. He told me he didn’t know what came over him, and a bunch of other lies just to get me out of the tree, back into what would be a den of hell for the next three years.

Most people might think I was pretty stupid to stay with this guy. To tell ya the truth–stupid is probably the last thing I am, or was. When I think about it now, it was partly my logical mind that kept me in this abusive relationship for so long. I thought I could change him, I could help him analyze his pain, help him overcome the tragedies of his life. Later on in the relationship, I vowed to not let him do these horrible things to other women (this was my martyr phase)–What were some of the horrible things he did to me? Aside from the near daily slapping, punching and kicking, he psychologically tore me down, to a point where I was no longer sure of anything. What little self- esteem I had left was completely gone. While I was with him, I allowed my relationships with my family to deteriorate–I lied to them, assuring them I was o.k., even though I wouldn’t call for 6 months at a time–I let the relationships with friends and co-workers go away, or if I did hang out I would focus all of my conversations around him and what he was doing (these times were rare because for the entire time we were together he hardly ever let me out of his sight). I was losing my identity, I was letting myself be dominated, out of fear for my life. Things in my life during that time hardly ever changed, I was eternally feeling stuck-stranded and sorry for myself. I now realize that much of my situation was a direct result of the fact that I am a drug addict and every time I put drugs/alcohol into my body, I don’t make good decisions for myself. I end up in places I don’t want to be and with people I don’t want to be with.

The day finally came where I couldn’t stand my life the way it was, I was sick and tired of being treated the way he was treating me and my pets. A kind of force came inside me that was completely centered in courage and faith–that I could get away and I could have a better life. One morning he tried to strangle me for the last time. I was able to get away–to get free. I went to a neighbors house and called the local battered woman’s shelter-they took me in for 9 weeks. They helped me get my life back together. I had to leave my faithful pets, my possessions, my job and all of my friends, no one, not even my parents knew where I was staying. It was the only way I could begin to find out who I was again. I got clean and sober the day I left him because it was obvious to me that my relationship to him was part of my addiction too. My life since I left him has been a slow process of recovery. It is amazing that even five years after leaving him I still sometimes hear his voice in my head–making cruel remarks–making racist remarks–making sexist remarks. My life is so different, my heart truly goes out to both women and men caught in this distractive cycle of hurting one another. I am sure today that the main ingredient in my leaving him was a gift of COURAGE that was probably with me all along , but for some reason I had to go through that horrible experience. The very sad part is that some people don’t get to survive domestic violence. Every year thousands of women and children and men die as a direct result of this senseless violence.

There is a way out of a bad situation–you have to leave! My situation with him was never going to change until I did something about it–if I had stuck around waiting for him to change, I might be dead today.

This life’s lesson was a hard one for me, it took not only years to learn, it took many more years to recover from.

My relationships today are for the most part healthy. I have learned how to say no, to say yes and to assert my hopes, needs and fears–there is a life after domestic violence!!!

I have learned that it works both ways:

How about these questions:

1. Is your partner afraid of you sometimes?

2. Are you jealous of your partner?

3. Do you need to know where your partner is at all times and with whom and doing what?

4. Are you very protective of your partner?

5. Do you consider yourself the ruler of your castle?

6. Do you feel like sometimes you have to put your foot down to straighten things out in your relationship?

7. Have you ever hit, slapped or pushed your partner?

8. Have you ever said “Don’t make me angry!”?

9. Have you ever threatened your partner?

10. Have you ever said something that your partner might consider a threat, even if you never really would do it or were just joking?

11. Have you ever said or thought “If I can’t have you, nobody can!”?

12. Have you ever thrown things or hit walls during an argument with your partner?

13. Do you find yourself “convincing” your partner on a regular basis to do things that he or she would rather not do?

14. Do you consider it important that things go your way?

15. Do you think that your partner sometimes deserves to be hit?

16. Do you think that your partner sometimes wants to be hit?

17. Have you ever found yourself smiling or laughing when your partner is hurt?

18. Have you ever intentionally harmed or broken something which was important to your partner?

19. Have you ever been afraid to tell someone about something that happened between you and your partner because you were afraid that they wouldn’t understand and that you would be in trouble (maybe even legal trouble)?

20. Are you sure that you don’t have an abuse problem because you see people around you doing worse all the time?

21. Have you ever followed your partner when he or she didn’t want you to?

22. Have you ever physically stopped your partner from leaving?

23. Is it important to you that others, particularly your partner, agree with you?

24. Do you find yourself answering questions here with “yes, but…”?

When I was fourteen I started dating girls. It was pretty much all about two people getting loaded enough to get through their anxieties and fears about being in the situation in the first place. After the first girlfriend, I ended up switching from the fear of being in a sexual situation to obsession with being in a sexual situation. All of the men/boys around me seemed to completely echo the sentiment. As much and as often as possible. Talk about it a lot when peers are around. I thought it was normal. Two days before I turned fifteen I was with my second girlfriend and we got drunk and ended up having intercourse. It was totally unplanned. It was my first time. Since it was unplanned, we didn’t have any birth control, we never felt like we could ask our parents to get us some cuz we weren’t supposed to be sexually active according to them. Being fourteen and fifteen we didn’t feel like we could go buy some at a store, that was too scary a proposition. Needless to say we got pregnant my first time.

This experience showed me one of my big lessons. All the Christians out there who say that kids shouldn’t have sex until they’re married and the folks who pass laws that say kids can’t have sex until they are eighteen are just not sane. First of all, obviously our creator made us so that we start procreating at 12-14. And for the legislators who aren’t basing their judgment on the idea of a creator, but instead on biology, kids are biologically ready to reproduce at about thirteen. Not only are they ready, the hormones create a very real urge. So irregardless of people’s legal or moral laws/codes kids will just start having sex at about fourteen. The real problem here is the way life is artificially structured so that your stuck in the situation where your someone else’s property until your eighteen, and not allowed to make the choices that are actually yours. So when ever a young person has a child while still a teen, they are immediately stigmatized as a bad parent. That’s a pretty nice introductory gift to parenthood right?

So many of you will be thinking that a teenager just isn’t responsible or mature enough to raise a child. Well I really want some one to show me who is. Mature, responsible parents have been sending their kids to war for thousands of years, telling them that their own aspirations are stupid and to give up because money is king, encouraging them to get drivers licsences and engage in one of the most deadly pursuits we have going today, pressuring them into jobs that damage the body severely over time. The list is endless.

Many of you will still be thinking that fourteen is too young to have kids. This could be easily solved with birth control. However they seemed to start raising the issue with me in high school after I already had a child. I think teaching about it in the sixth grade would be infinitely more valuable. You would also have to annihilate the catholic church which is so desperate for supporters and their money that they make up lies about how god hates birth control just so their congregations will give birth to more potential Catholics(donors). Lastly I think that most people think kids aren’t very emotionally mature at fourteen and don’t know how to get by in the world. Of course their not. They were trained to be that way at school. The first two years at school they teach you the basics of scholarly stuff. Then they repeat it over and over until your eighteen. Then you can go to college and learn how to get a job that pays more than the $4.25 an hour job that your high school diploma gets you. So where do you get an education on how to live in the world. You don’t. The corporate run government that creates the schools needs workers, not self sufficient people. They will never teach kids how to not be dependent on their system. Do they teach you how to farm, build a house, heal yourself, etc.?

I don’t think a person’s age has much to do with it. Most of the people I know who went through sixteen years of school only learned how to say “yes sir” and how to pick up a paycheck. And those are the exact same “mature” qualities they pass on to their own kids.

All of these things and experiences have brought me to a place where I spend a lot of time thinking, how is the whole thing supposed to work? How are families supposed to happen? I have been able to recognize that marriage was made up so that there would be a cultural institution to ensure that a nest is present for the future child to be raised within. I have also recognized that the severe power inequality between men and women has finally come to a head and the way marriage is supposed to be(man is king, woman and kids are loyal subjects) no longer functions. I don’t know if it ever did (I’m not that old). In my life time we have seen a transition from most of the marries lasting to 50% of the marries lasting. We obviously need a new plan.

All around me the activists and punks all seem to think that since their parent’s relationships were sexist or tyrannical, anything that contained commitment or monogamy would be the same thing. They seem to mostly decide to do casual sex and serial monogamy. I can’t seem to find a place in that thinking where a child could be raised.

I think this issue is totally key to our future on Earth because I think our assumptions of fault for the world’s ills always falling on “others”, is false. There have been tons of revolutions (most notably the American revolution) where the old tyrants were kicked out and the new governments would be ten times as bad as the old. I think it is totally obvious that this keeps happening because our problems are not just external, we carry them with us and when given the opportunity we abuse people and act out on them.

My father was emotionally unavailable to me. It was manifested in his “need” to work all the time. I am similarly unavailable to my child on account of my drug addiction. Punk rock would lead us to believe that it’s OK just because I’m not working all the time so it’s not the same thing. But it is the same thing. We constantly look at actions rather than patterns which is why we fail to see the bigger picture and is also why we can only change the clothes that our problems wear, rather than doing away with the whole problem. I really hope that we can find a way to give our internal problems the attention and care that they deserve. The alternative of production and consumption, whether it’s products or drugs, just pollutes and destroys us and the Earth.

Recently some weird things have been happening at the Gilman street project. People have been raising questions about what do we do when people in the scene here are acting with misogyny or sexually harassing others or even raping others. It’s not really weird in the sense that it’s unexpected, cuz it’s not unexpected to me. The first time it happened, I instigated it.

I was told quite a lot of stories about the singer of a band from the east bay. The stories included threats of rape, sexual harassing, and the beating of women. I made a flyer about the allegations and passed it out to the audience at the band’s show as they were setting up. Members of the band confronted me in Berkeley a few days later and said everything on the flyer was untrue. A while later somebody at a Gilman meeting brought it up and the membership decided to ban said individual until a committee could be formed to investigate the charges.

That sort of opened a channel to more things being brought to light.

Two weeks later at the next Gilman membership meeting a kid came forward and said another member of the club had gotten him drunk and tried to rape him while he was passed out. This was instantly a very heavy issue. The person he named plays a very important, pivotal role in the scene here in the east bay. The person accused is also a friend of basically everyone who was at the membership meeting. We decided to do the same thing as the last meeting, which was to ban the person from the club and form a committee to investigate charges against the person. My self and five other people have been appointed to collect facts. It’s a pretty weird position for us all to be in because we all have a personal and a business relationship with the person. I’m not saying anything I’ve been told is or is not true but one kid I interviewed told me that there are lots of other incidents with the person and that a lot of people have sort of known about it and not brought it up.

This brings me to the point of what I’m writing. As a scene we say things that are politically correct. We say that we do not tolerate sexism, sexual harassment and rape, but we do. We are these things. The first show I went to in 1983 a woman passed out from drinking too much beer. Immediately two guys grabbed her off the floor and put her in the back of their pick up truck. As they drove off to rape her about 4-6 other guys ran after the truck and jumped in the back. All the guys standing on the street laughed like it was hilarious that this girl was going to be gang raped.

The next thing I noticed was when a roadie for Blast! locked himself inside the side room of Gilman with a passed out girl, until some one kicked the door down and found her with her pants around her ankles. Those are the two severest things I witnessed.

Since then I’ve seen countless guys in bands(including myself) use women interested in a relationship, for “meaningless” sex. I’ve seen a member of NOFX piss on a woman another member of NOFX was having sex with. I’ve seen the whole band(NOFX) wake up a roadie and a woman he had sex with the night before by applauding and then announcing that by sleeping with the woman the roadie had won the “who gets laid the most times contest”.

I guess what I’m getting at is that we function in the same way as the society we seem to be against. Certain men get huge power within the scene and get away with anything.

Right now this is being called into question within the forum of membership meetings at 924 Gilman street. I sure do hope that we don’t drop it or let it slide.

A few years ago I read and heard about a group of women who were trying to get the united nations to include the unpaid work that women do world wide in the gross national product of all the nations. They basically wanted to raise the issue that women’s work isn’t just underpaid in the way we talk about the glass ceiling in the US(women are paid 63 cents for each dollar a man makes, for the same work). Most work that is traditionally done by women in the world is not paid at all. Child rearing. Cooking. House cleaning. The list is endless. I think this has developed as a way to keep women economically powerless, so they can’t leave.

Anyway I had an idea. Since you couldn’t really strike for wages, because it would effect the children most, I thought it would be interesting if there was a world wide strike where sex would be withheld until women’s unpaid work was paid.

You might be thinking that no one would be willing to pay women for there “domestic labor” because there is nothing being produced. This is exactly the problem. Women “produce” children, the most important thing there is and we collectively decide that since we can’t sell them (usually anyway) that they aren’t worth anything. What would it be like if we made people build other things for free. If we didn’t pay the doctor who operates on you, do you think she/he would care much for the quality of work, what about the people who build the cars and planes, those who build the buildings we live and work in? Do you think that they would even do it at all?

So anyway I don’t have a date to start or anything I just wanted to raise the question.

1 in 5 adult women will be raped at some point in their lives.

More than 4 out of 5 rape victims know their attackers.

1 in 15 rape victims contracts a sexually transmitted disease as a result of being raped.

1 in 15 rape victims becomes pregnant as a result of being raped.

Only 7% of all rapes are reported to police. By comparison, the reporting rate for robbery is 53%; assault, 46%; and burglary, 52%.

The number of women raped in 1994 is fifteen times higher than officially reported in the National Crime Survey.

The number of college women raped in 1994 is fourteen times higher than officially reported in the National Crime Survey.

Life’s Lesson was written by Cynthia
All else was done by me

My World 5

Welcome to my world #5. The card on the front is the Hierophant. He’s like the pope or something. This zine doesn’t have anything to do with the pope. He sucks. This summer marks one year I’ve been doing this zine. I put #4 on the last Fifteen CD which will be out octoberish(on Lookout!). I am living in Oakland once again. It is crazy here. Cupertino was very mellow. Where I live now people buy and sell crack cocaine and women at all four corners of the intersection I live at, including in our front yard. However my home is about 10 blocks from where I was born and consequently I feel a lot more grounded now. I also ended Fifteen since I put out the last issue. It had been almost 8 years, and an additional 6 years before that in two other bands. Something about being in a band makes you homeless all the time, it’s really not compatible with having much of a life. I needed a break.

Since I wrote “Further thoughts on rape and our community” in issue 1.5 I got some more information on my own situation. I had been able to remember two cases where I violated two different women. I have come in contact lately with a woman I used to hang out with in about 1986. She and I used to do speed and acid together. One night we were fooling around and we ended up more or less unclothed. It was the same situation as the other woman. By the time we were in that situation I thought consent was implied. With the aid of self-centeredness, her saying no seemed to not carry enough weight to override the implied consent of prior sexual activity.

I raped her.

Since she reminded me of this I’ve been thinking about why it never happened again. I’ve come to understand that people develop lifelong patterns pretty early on. So why didn’t I ever do it again? I started to notice a progression of the behavior of the woman I related sexually to. It was obvious from pretty early on that all the women I was with had been incested/molested as kids. When I was in the beginning of adolescence the women I was with seemed to get very petrified by any kind of sexual activity. As though it was bringing up old trauma. Then as we all got older something changed. The women I was with were a little older (as I was) and had already started to have some prior sexual activities with others. There seemed to be a flip from being terrified of it to throwing ourselves into it. A lot of the time it seemed to be two people who didn’t even really want to be with each other would be sexual just because they were both available for it that day. It really seems now like this:
You are a boy/girl who was molested as a child. You cut this part of your experience off. You hit puberty and the hormones start going. The prospect of being sexual with someone is terrifying. You start ending up in situations where your spending time with someone you like and end up with totally contradictory feelings. You start to fool around, it’s re-traumatizing you. You avoid situations like that for a while. However, your friends start giving you hell about why your still a virgin. You have a natural need to want to fulfill what is expected of you. You’ve gone through all the training that says your only a real man/woman if your having lots of sex. After a while something flips over and sexual activity becomes common place, even compulsive. It seems like when primary care givers in our childhood sexualize us we think for the rest of our lives that we need abusive or trivial or meaningless or overly casual sexual relations in order that we be taken care of and our needs be met. I guess I’m bringing all of this up because it’s always in my face no matter where I am. The activist/punk community in Berkeley/Oakland almost all seem to fit in this “category”. So to deal with it people take on the theory from the 60s(or was it from the Roman ruling class) that sexual relations should be totally noncommittal, emotionally uninvolved. They have built an ideology where, when people are in a committed relationship, that nessicarily means they are imprisoning each other. There seems to be almost no recognition of the fact that if a person has access to both his/her male and female energy then there would be no reason to trap someone else in a relationship. There would be no illusion of something missing, that needs to be gotten from the other. Anyway, it seems like the way sex is happening, compulsively and without caring, is akin to retraumatizing the people involved. Not to mention the possibilities of HIV transmission. For these reasons I can’t really invest to heavily in either of these groups any more. But, back to the original point. I raped a friend of mine. Why would I do that? I’ve never hit anybody since I was four. I’ve never been in a fight in my life. I’ve never been able to see other people fight without intervening. I get totally uncomfortable being around people acting inconsiderately of other people. So why could I think that it was OK to do that to her?

I found only a few answers.
(These are not intended to remove responsibilities for my actions. They are put here in hopes that maybe other men will be able to recognize similar behavior in themselves, so they can attempt to change.)

No matter what sort of public service announcements the TV/newspaper/school gods may put out about date rape, the overwhelming image portrayed of rape is that of a stranger attacking a woman he doesn’t know. This one put some wrong ideas in my head:
It’s not rape if you know the person.
If your not hitting them or tearing their clothes off it’s not rape.
If they consented to petting earlier that day it’s not rape.
If you have had intercourse with them before then they are obliged to give you sex whenever you demand.

None of these things could explain to me why I could live with causing another person suffering in that situation and not in any other situations. The answer I found to that was two-fold.

When I was four I started finding Playboy Puzzles in the cupboards and my parents home. After that I found magazines. After that I started finding the Spectator ( a local porno – newspaper) lying around the playground at my school. Then some of my friends somehow possessed other pornography, I guess they stole it from their fathers or something. As I got older I came to understand that all three cases of my violating a woman, had some relation to pornography. I learned a very important lesson from all of this material, male-supremecy. In the same fashion that white men get to own children and non-whites, they also get to own women. This thinking is totally linked and reinforced by pornography. The very fact that the women are no longer human and are instead a piece of paper makes ownership possible. You can own a piece of paper. You can make the piece of paper do whatever you want. You don’t ask the piece of paper about consent. The nature of what the pictures portray facilitates the thinking further. In the photo’s the women are always starving for sex. Unsafe sex. Violent sex. Humiliating sex. Degrading sex.

There is one particular element of male supremacy in the pictures. The woman is always dominated by or in a state of worship of the the male penis. In the photos and the films the woman is always portrayed as though the only thing that matters to her is having a man come in or on her. This pretty much eliminates any thinking where sex can happen without intercourse or be anything but intercourse. I think what this stuff did to my consciousness is got me to think that once someone consented to kissing or petting that if they said they didn’t want intercourse, for whatever reason, I would then think that they didn’t mean it or that they would change thier mind after penetration had happened.

I don’t know what all this means to you but I have heard of a policy at Antioch College in Ohio where they have defined different levels of sexual behavior and it is mandatory to obtain mutual consent to move to higher levels. The punishment for not complying would be expulsion. I don’t know about rules and people’s lives but I thought it was a very interesting idea.

I read a lot of this stuff in a book called REFUSING TO BE A MAN by John Stoltenberg. Compulsory reading for all men(if I were god). It’s published by Meridian.

I also wanted to express some gratitude to Spitboy, Fugazi, Los Crudos, Spark zine, Rock Candy zine, Spirals Upward zine, Fern zine for raising these issues in the punk scene. We didn’t all end up punks because we had good childhoods and emotional health.

This summer I had the chance to go to Canada. For many years I had dreamed that I would find something magical in Canada, but I had no idea what that magical something would be. The trip was great, nice people, most I met were of a spiritual nature, the food I ate there was really healthy for the most part and very close to where I was staying there was a juice bar. It being my nature to pick up almost every piece of free literature I find, on my last day in Canada, I took a “health ‘zine” from the juice bar. It wasn’t until I got home did a friend of mine read one of the articles titled, “Bras and Breast Cancer” and encouraged me to read the article.

I was amazed at the information in the article, it turned out that the article was my Canadian surprise! The article was written by Sydney Ross Singer who conducted a study of 5,000 women who wore bras. Basically, she was interested in how our lifestyles make us sick, and she found one. According to the World Health Organization, 70-80 per cent of deaths in North America are due to lifestyle. Wearing a bra is definitely a lifestyle choice for most adult women and it seems to be a social obligation for many young women as they begin to develop breasts. The link between bras and breast cancer is this: On a daily basis, for the entirety of our lives, we are exposed to many hazardous and cancer-causing agents. Toxins are in our food, air, water and in all the materials in and around our bodies. These toxins are processed by our bodies through our lymphatic system and bras definitely restrict the lymph nodes that are near our arm pits. Basically, the tight construction of the bra restricts the natural operation of the lymph node and traps the toxins and poisons in our system. The study by Singer made the direct connection between the amount of time women wear bras and the occurence of breast cancer. Women who wear a bra 18 hours a day have a higher rate of breast cancer than women who wear a bra 12 hours a day. Women who wear a bra 24 hours a day have the highest rate of breast cancer. Much to my dismay, many women reported wearing a bra 24 hours a day and when I started to ask some friends about this they agreed that some of them actually wear their bras continuously, on the advise of their mothers or women friends.

I started to ask myself why did I wear a bra. To be honest, I never was really crazy about the way my breasts looked. They always seemed kind of lumpy, definitely not perfectly shaped, as I had been trained to think that they were supposed to look, (ie. breasts pushed upwards for constant male “enjoyment”) But then I started to realize that I was really wearing a bra to mold my breasts so they would look like every other woman’s, and I believed the lie that my breasts needed “support”…BULLSHIT!! The fact is that my breast needed support because they were lazy from always being held “up” in a bra. By lazy I mean that, like muscles that haven’t been used in a while, my breasts became that way. I knew deep inside that my body was born with everything I needed to get along in life and I wasn’t born with a bra on!

Then came the decision, like many other things in my life there comes a time to reject the idea that I’ve carried around for years, the lies I’ve been taught by society about how to take care of myself. I decided to get rid of the bra. There are a couple of factors that helped me in this decision; 1) I want to live a healthy life and don’t want to die as a result of my lifestyle 2) I don’t wear “revealing” clothing, so it’s not totally obvious I’m not wearing a bra today 3) I hang out with people that are supportive of living the same way as I choose to live 4) I am trying to live my life without giving in to a concept/product that uses lies just to make a profit.

In my first couple of weeks during the de-bra-ing, I was a bit nervous. Would my job notice and tell me that I was in violation of some “dress code”? That didn’t happen. Would men look at me differently, with presumptions about my sexual availability? That didn’t happen. What did happen was I finally developed a “relationship” with my breasts, instead of treating them separately by putting them in this “sling”. And as the study by Singer concluded, women who quit wearing bras report complete recovery from pain, swelling, cysts, and lumpiness within weeks, this was my experience. My breasts, and the muscles around them are actually stronger.

I have become increasingly aware of how everything in our culture encourages women to wear bras. There are a couple of things in particular that are disturbing. The whole notion of giving young women “training bras”, what are they training for? A life of bondage and possible death? Last years rage of “Miracle Bras”…just the title is dismal. And most recently I saw a TV commercial that I grew up with…The Playtex 18 hour bra. Now that I know there is a direct link between length of bra wearing and breast cancer I find this product as harmful to women as a Virginia Slims cigarette ad.

It all started when I was in the third grade, A boy class-mate of mine started teasing me, saying he could see my boobs and I needed to wear a bra. He would not let up so being in the third grade I did what anyone would have done, I chased him. Chasing him made him tease me more but I was not going to stop and I would have kicked his ass if the principal did not catch us before I caught him. The principal asked us a few times what happened but all he got out of us was that the boy was teasing me. There was no way in hell either of us was going to say I was chasing him because he was teasing me about my boobs. When the principal threatened us with what I don’t remember the boy made something up. I agreed that that was what he was teasing me about and off to class we went. I think we were both glad we did not tell him the truth. When I was in the sixth grade I loved running. We would have races at lunch, I always thought I was fast. But I gave it up because my boy friends favorite joke was telling me I was going to get two black eyes when I ran. For a long time after this I ran with my arms very close to my chest so my boobs won’t bounce so much. I did not like that when I ran all the boys were looking at my boobs. Or boys making up tricks like asking you if you can touch your elbows behind your back or my boyfriend putting his arm around me and hanging his hand over my boob or boys asking for hugs so they can feel my boobs. It is sad to say but sometimes, even today, if a boy asks for a hug, even the seven year old I watch, I think they have some screaming ulterior motive.

Another time in the sixth grade two of my boy friends and I were hanging out at my house. These two boys decided it would be a good idea to attack me and see if they could take my bra off. They would chase me, catch me, grab at me, And try to unhook the back. I would get away and tell them to stop, they would for a few minutes and start again. Finally I had to lock myself in the bathroom and tell them to leave. All was forgotten because they were my friends. I just thought this was normal and accepted behavior.

In Jr. high all the boys were disappointed that I didn’t wear a white t shirt the day of the water balloon fights. As I got older there was less teasing and more staring and rude comments. So in high school of course we have swimming. In this class the boys and girls were split up so I was not too worried. (This is actually a funny story)All the girls are in the locker room admiring each others suits. A girl asks to see my suit so I lift up my shirt to show her the top. There is a group of about six girls around me And this girl says oh my god you have the biggest boobs. Well I knew that. I think she did too but seeing is believing. I have a million little stories but just one more from my high school days. I went into a donut shop bought some donuts and started to leave. I hear someone say “hey”. We stopped and looked, there were four boys about 15 or 16 sitting at a table. One of them looks at me and says kind of slowly, “You have the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen”. I just stood there dumbstruck. Chris left and I just stood there looking at this kid. Nothing came out of my mouth so I just left. Here I am today not as self conscious as I used to be. If I seem a little protective when you try to get close to me don’t take it personal I just have to protect myself. It just takes time to trust that someone is not just trying to cop a feel.

I was asked to write some stuff about punk and punks and changes in people’s lives and how we carry a lot of the internal emotional/intellectual disabilities from our society on with us even after we are punks. I think all these things can be put into a few separate categories.

Misogyny/Male supremacy

How you ever noticed how predominately white punk is?
Have you ever noticed any efforts to change that?
Have you ever noticed that most of the efforts to change racism in the scene are along the lines of groups of people whose purpose is to have violent confrontations with skins, racists, etc.?
Do we still think that we can just say that were not racist anymore and that racism is somebody else’s fault and the 18 some years of conditioning we all underwent is now just disappeared?
Have you ever wondered what it would be to take action to build communications/connections with people outside white punk rock?
Do you really think that some white kids can come up with all the solutions for the problems of race we have to face?
Do you think white kids can even see all the problems that there are?
Have you ever been to a show or other “punk” social happening and heard people spewing the same old shit ( racist jokes, “humorous” impressions, stories about being in fear in a situation for reasons of neighborhood or the color of people in there surroundings, etc.) and have everybody go along with it?
Have you ever been to a show and noticed people were totally unaware of the privileges they have because they are white?
Have you ever heard people use the poor condition of their neighborhood as proof of their manhood/punkness without ever really thinking about the fact that some people had to grow up, live and die there?
Have you ever done any of these things yourself?

Have you ever been to a show where people used words like FAGGOT, HOMO, GAY, ETC. to express that something was lacking in someone’s manhood?
Or to imply that someone wasn’t punk or hardcore enough?
Have you ever heard punks talking about how it was OK that somebody was gay so long as they don’t force it on “me”? As though it was in someone’s power or right to decide if someone else is OK?
Have you ever noticed that “heterosexuality” is forced on everybody, everywhere?
Have you ever noticed that the perspective being presented through music and spoken word is not only very white but very heterosexual also?
Have you ever found yourself engaging in these behaviors?

Have you ever noticed that about 85% of the people in bands are men(while more than half the people in the world are women)?
Have you ever noticed punks classifying music made by women as not “punk” because it lacked the ingredient “tuff/hard/macho/etc.” that they so desperately need?
Have you ever noticed women in the back and men in the front at shows?
Have you noticed, in your scene, that the only role available to women is that of “so and so’s” girlfriend?
Have you ever noticed that people in the scene think it’s normal and OK for guys in bands to use women for “anonymous” sex?
Have you ever noticed women in your scene competing over the most “desirable”(in most popular band/in position of most power) man?
Is that conducive to community?
Have you ever noticed the difference in language and content of speech when there are no women present?
Have you ever seen your scene expect women to do the majority of the shit work, and get none of the recognition or appreciation?
Have you ever heard someone in your scene use words like – betty, bitch, slut, tramp, whore, cunt, a good fuck or lay, etc. – to refer to a human being?
Have you ever heard punks in your scene engaging in “jokes” that are degrading to women?
Have you ever heard people in your scene bragging about sexual conquests with another person as though the other person was only valuable as a means of ensuring one’s manhood/womanhood in the eye’s of his/her peers?
Have you ever noticed the level of a persons “punkness” is permanatly linked to his/her gender identity?

Have you ever noticed, in your scene, divisions based on different levels of income, standards of living, neighborhood of residence, etc.?
Have you ever noticed divisions in your scene based on whether a person lives in a box, car, shelter, apartment, squat, house, under a tree, etc.?
Have you ever heard punks say things like “oh he’s a poser his parents are so rich..” ?
Have you ever noticed people in your scene divide themselves up between those who squat, those who rent, those who are homeless, those who go to college, etc.?
Have you ever noticed people in your scene being divided into groups where one values political information learned at college and another group values political information learned in the streets?

Have you ever noticed a feeling in your scene that some people are more important than the others?
Have you ever noticed a system of levels in your scene where people on different levels are given different “worths” (band members, zine writers, promoters, roadies, label owners, audience)?
Is there a “king” of your scene?
Do people in your scene use the word “scenester” to refer to certain people?
Do people in your scene tend to think that people’s ideas and actions are more valid if those people have been going to shows longer than everyone else?
If those people were around at the beginning of the scene?
If those people saw black flag, minor threat, the big boys, etc.?
Are the various forms of infrastructure in your scene(club, record stores, radio shows) run by a group or by an individual?
Are their official or unofficial “leaders”?

Have you ever noticed that success is defined the same way in your scene as it is for arena rock?
Have you ever noticed bands in your scene signing to huge labels saying they needed better distribution when they don’t really have anything to say anyway?
Have you noticed bands in your area charging 10$ and up for lps, cds, tapes(even though it only costs 2$ to manufacture)?
Have you noticed bands are starting to ask for four digit guarantees and are starting to complain about others not liking it when door prices exceed 5$?
Have you ever noticed how many people sell video and audio tapes of bands live shows for 10-15$ with out ever asking permission from the band or giving any of the money to the band?

Have you ever noticed people in bands, audiences, zine writers, etc., who talk about all the things that need to be done, all the changes that need to be made in persons lives, so that we can embetter our world and our fellows?
Have you ever seen any of those people doing any of those thing?
Have you ever noticed people in your scene using their political beliefs as a proof of their superiority over others and not as a motivator towards action?

I used to think if I didn’t use the word nigger than I wasn’t racist anymore. I used to think if I didn’t use the word bitch when women were around then I wasn’t sexist anymore. I used to think that if I was buying into the homecoming king shit that I wasn’t buying into hierarchical social relations. I used to think that so long as nobody “gay” was around it was OK to use words like faggot to dehumanize others.

I saw that there were serious problems with the way people were. Unfortunately I believed my parents, the TV, etc. when they said not engaging in those things was a simple matter of not saying a couple words, not doing a couple of behaviors anymore. They said that change would mean just those simple little things because they didn’t want to REALLY change. They didn’t want to really face institutional racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, male supremacy, greed. They wanted to be able to point the finger at somebody else and not have to examine their own lives.

Do you want to change? Do want to accept the fact that people shaped your attitudes over YEARS? Do you want to accept that it might take years to extract these things from yourself? It might even take your whole life?

Are you willing to accept that you are as much a part of the problem as anybody else?
Are you willing to give up the privileges you get from our society?
Are you willing to give up the idea of human domination over nature?
Are you willing to actually accept the fact that you don’t know it all and ask some one for help (oh how unmanly!)?
Or are you just looking for a mohawk, a place to be cool, a place to be superior, a place to prove your gender identity, a place to get fucked up and not take responsibility for your life?
I’ve engaged in most of these behaviors over the course of my life. It’s taken me a lot of work and time and willingness to change myself. To me it’s not about your lame and I’m not it’s about were all fucked and we need to support each other if we are going to ever get better.
Progress not Perfection.

Over the summer I was staying at a friends house a couple blocks from 924 Gilman St. He had bought the house from a guy who’s grandfather built it. His dad lived in it for fifty years. Instead of paying rent I helped my friend clear out the fifty years of shit the guy had there. One of the things I found there was a essay for school that a girl wrote sometime after 1906. It was titled “Berkeley As I Knew it in The Early Days” by Wilhelmine F. Bolsted Cianciarulo. It mainly just talks about the bottom of university ave. and the buildings, businesses that were built there. It talked about how it all used to be a swamp and about the horses and cows that used to hang out.

After I had read a few pages of it I got to the part where it says, “Thier house(the Sisterna family) was sold in 1906 and was moved to 10th street near channing way where it was remodeled. The family had one Indian slave named Pedro. He slept in the barn with the horses and was in demand at all times until he died.”

I don’t ever remember being told that slavery was even legal in California. I know they never said anything about slaves being here in Berkeley this century.

We seem to have a habit in our society. We rape, rob and murder, and then we demand that it either didn’t happen or that were past that now and it’s all behind us. We seem to lack a continuous Truth. They’ll release the Nixon tapes in a while and say it’s all behind us now. They’ll probably admit that the FBI and the CIA killed JFK, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, quite a few Black Panthers and hundreds of members, relatives of members and supporters of the American Indian Movement. They will undoubtedly say it was an honest mistake and the responsible parties are dead or retired so it doesn’t matter any more. Irregardless of whether or not we accept the insanity; that even though they admit willfully violating every law and commandment ever thought of, repeatedly across hundreds of years, they will not let it happen again. There is still in fact a continuous truth.

The ruling class use lies, murder, assassination(foreign and domestic), bombings, slavery (35 cent and hour prison labor {if you account for inflation 35cents and hour is probably worth less than the food and shelter that the slaves received in the old days}), terrorism, sabotage, divide and conquer, starvation, war, rape and economic violence to do what ever they want to whom ever they want and experience absolutely no consequences whatsoever. This will not change in a few years because of this circumstance or that circumstnce, it will end when thier means of control( police, army, media, division, war, everyone wanting to be the next “millionaire”) are either taken from them or destroyed.

I had another idea about our trash dilemma. If you built various long lasting holding containers for the various things you buy at stores, you could then leave the packaging at the store. This is completely legal, think about when you buy a candy bar, you obviously leave the wrapper in thier trash. What would that accomplish? Not much, but if lots of people did it Safeway/JewelOsco/etc. would incur huge trash collection costs fairly quickly. If people were adamant about it I think the manufacturers would have to listen. The only reason they get away with the current garbage/packaging nightmare is because we all agree to pay to have the packaging taken away and “disposed of”.

Last month, July 1996, a black man was shot to death four buildings down the street from where I live. He was shot four times in the face. He was a major crack dealer with an estimated 200 people working under him. My partner and myself went out for an hour to buy some food. When we got home the street was blocked off on both sides and we had to convince the cops we lived there just to go down the street. I went and looked at the guy. He was lying on the sidewalk. I guess I’m too desensitized from watching Television and living in an metropolitan area, cuz I didn’t feel anything about it for days. All the neighbors were all excited that something was actually happening.

A few days later my partner and myself planted a rose bush there for him. Then I started to see a chain of events that I imagine probably happened.

See, next door to us there is a woman who screams and threatens and beats her children. She must call them worthless at least 50 times a day. She also treats them like they are worthless and a burden. This seems to be a pretty recurring theme in Oakland. I hear it next door where ever I’ve lived in Oakland. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to say that this behavior is a result of them being black people. I’m pretty sure if you traced it back through people’s families it would originate with the white people who used to own them who would scream at them, beat them, and tell and treat them in a way so they would believe they were shit.

Anyway, I started thinking about the guy who got killed and the guy(s?) who killed him. They probably went through the same kind of childhood where life wasn’t worth much. It would make it pretty easy to kill somebody else or do things that would get you jailed or killed. So I was thinking that as the guy hits his twenties, there’s no work to be had. Meanwhile George Bush and Ollie North are busy importing tons of cocaine into the country. All around him in every form of media, during the 80s, greed and entrepreneurism was the order of the day. So low and behold this young black man tries his hand at selling cocaine and finds himself very good at it. Next thing you know he’s dead on the side walk with not so much as a face intact. And the media call it Black on Black crime. Even though the white people started it and facilitated it every step of the way.

Here are some numbers I got from the local library. It’s all from 1990-1995, so the numbers are probably higher now. The math is mine so things are kind of rounded at my convenience.

Number of cigarettes smoked a day world wide: 15,000,000,000
Number of cigarettes smoked a year world wide: 5,475,000,000,000
Number of cigarettes smoked per day in USA: 1,000,000,000
Number of cigarettes smoked per year in USA: 365,000,000,000
Profit per day on cigarettes(1$ pack)world wide: 750,000,000
Profit per year on cigarettes (1$) world wide: 274,000,000,000
$ made on cigarettes per day in USA($1/pack est.): 50,000,000
Profit on cigarettes per year in USA($1/pack est.): 18,250,000,000,
Number of people killed by smoking per year in USA: 390,000
Number of people killed by cigarettes per day in USA: 1068
Number of people killed by cigarettes per hour in USA: 44
One person is killed by smoking every 1.36 minutes in the USA
$ made on car sales per year in USA: 189,000,000,000
$ made on petroleum products per year in USA: 77,000,000,000
Number of car accidents per year in USA: 15,000,000
Number of car accidents a day in USA: 41,095
Number of car accidents per hour in USA: 1712
Number of car Accidents per minute in USA: 28
One car accident in USA every other second
Number of people killed in car accidents per year in USA: 40,982
Number of people killed in car accidents per day in USA: 112
Number of people killed in car accidents per hour in USA: 5
One person killed by a car accident every 20 minutes
Number of people injured in car accidents per year in USA: 5,000,000,
Number of people injured in car accidents per day in USA: 13,698
Number of people injured in car accidents per hour in USA: 570
Number of people injured in car accidents per minute in USA: 9
One injury due to car accident every 6.66 seconds
—————————————————————- FIREARMS
$ made on the sale of guns per year in USA: 9,881,000,000
$ made on gun sales per day in USA: 27,071,000
Number of people killed by guns per year in USA: 37,776
Number of people killed by guns per day in USA: 103
Number of people killed by guns per hour in USA: 4
One person killed in the USA by a gun every 15 minutes
$ made from alcohol sales per year in USA: $50,000,000,000
$ made from alcohol sales in USA per day: 136,986,000
One million dollars made from alcohol sales every 10 minutes
Number of people killed by alcohol per year in USA: 19,568
Number of people killed by alcohol per day in USA: 54
Number of people killed by alcohol per hour in USA: 2
One person killed in the USA by alcohol every 30 minutes
Number of people killed by drugs per year in USA: 11,703
Number of people killed by drugs per day in USA: 32
One person killed by drugs in USA every 45 minutes
Number of women REPORTED battered per year: 3 million
Number of women battered per day: 8,219
Number of women battered per hour: 342
Number of women battered per minute: 6
One woman battered every 15 seconds
Number of REPORTED cases of child abuse per year(USA): 1,700,000
Number of cases of child abuse per day(USA): 4,657
Number of cases of child abuse per hour(USA): 194
Number of cases of child abuse per minute(USA): 2.23
One case of child abuse every 18 seconds
Number of REPORTED sexual assaults per year(USA): 700,000
Number of sexual assaults per day(USA): 1917
Number of sexual assaults per hour(USA): 80
One sexual assault every 45 seconds
Number of REPORTED rapes per year(USA): 87,600
Number of rapes per day(USA): 240
Number of rapes per hour(USA): 10
One rape every six minutes.
—————————————————————– FEMICIDE(BY PARTNER)
Number of women killed by partner per year(USA): 1,500
Number of women killed by partner per day(USA): 4
One woman killed by her partner every six hours.
In 8 hours, the time you spent at work or school today, the following things will have happened:
1 woman killed by her partner
10 drug deaths
16 alcohol deaths
40 car accident deaths
32 gun deaths
80 women raped
352 smoking deaths
640 sexual assaults
1,552 children abused
2,736 women battered
4,560 car accident injuries
13,696 car accidents
In other words 1350 people were killed, 2160 cases of sexual violence, 26,544 assaults involving physical and/or emotional injury done to women and children, in one eight hour period. When some one in the middle east takes a couple of hostages or kills a couple of Americans we’re there bombing tons of innocent civilians in the blink of an eye. The real killer is our society, and there is no way to go to war with it because it is already at war with itself.

It is war.

Here is another way of looking at it. In my life(26 years):
39,000 women killed by thier husbands
304,278 drug deaths
508,768 alcohol deaths
982,176 gun deaths
1,065,532 car accident deaths
2,277,600 women raped
10,140,000 smoking deaths
18,200,000 sexual assaults
44,200,000 cases of child abuse
78,000,000 women battered
130,000,000 car accident injuries
390,000,000 car accidents
———————————————————————— Here are some more thoughts I had after reflecting on the statistical information I gathered:
1) The numbers on rape and sexual assault and child abuse should be multiplied by 3 or 4 to account for the majority of cases where it goes unreported.
2) Since there is one sexual assault every 45 seconds and 55% of sex assaults are done to girls under 11 that means there is one case of a kid getting incested or molested every minute and a half. I figure that an average case of a kid getting molested lasts more than a minute and a half, therefore a child is being sexually molested constantly in the USA.
3) Our way of life almost kills as many people per year as either world war did.
4) We don’t value ourselves or each other or life very highly.
5) If you divide the number of deaths per day by the amount of money made per day you get a figure of how much money they made per person killed, for that year, they are as follows:
Cigarettes – $46,816.48 per person killed
Autos+gas – $4,623,287.67 per person killed
Guns – $262,825.24 per person killed
Alcohol – $2,536,777.78 per person killed
6) A few states are starting to talk about suing the ciggarette companies for the amount of people who must be treated for smoking related disease with no insurance or state paid for insurance. They should also be suing the gas and car companies because there are far more car accident injuries per day than there are smoking related hospitalizations.
7) The government and media use numbers a lot to justify thier interests. I used to think that they just made up numbers, but they don’t have to. When you say 32 people died of drug deaths today it sounds like a lot, but it doesn’t sound like much compared to the 1062 people who will die because of cigarettes today(which are totally supported by government subsidies). So I think what it comes down to is that they are telling parts of the truth and most people don’t care enough to find out the rest for themselves.

However, I hear a lot of activists and punks talk about how “so many more people die of cigarettes and alcohol than drugs” and use it as a means of discounting the damage illegal drugs actually do or arguing for there legalization. They have killed 300,000 people in the USA in my life and they have killed seven of my friends in the last three years. Also it seems like the government/media aren’t actually opposed to preventable death, they are only opposed to the ones that could be turned on them(guns) and the ones that provide them with the opportunity to invade minority communities(drugs).If they cared about peoples health, they would be attacking cigarettes, which kill 33.3 more people than drugs do(which also translates to huge unpaid medical bills from uninsured smokers that the states have to foot the bill for). Also alcohol kills twice the number of people drugs do.

If they really cared about preventing violent death then they would go after cars(can you think of anything more violent than being propelled into cement or steel at 60-100 miles an hour?) not guns. Cars have killed more people than guns for decades until last year when they killed virtually the same amount of people. Furthermore if they were out to end violent why would they do things like war, atom bombs, etc.

I also noticed that the media is pretty screwy about it’s logic. They always talk about how most of the car death happen in this situation or that location or whatever. The reality is that all car deaths occur in cars, all car accident injuries invole cars. Also the media seems to like to put on all those cheesy partnership for a drug free America commercials which happen to be funded by the cigarette/alcohol companies, the biggest producers of chemical warfare on the people. But it kind of figures they would put out commercials that badmouth thier COMPETITION. So in conclusion I can only make one recommendation – run for it.

Bras and Breast Cancer was written by Cynthia
Stop Staring at my Chest by Kelli from Weekender (it was taken from weekender w/out permission actually)
There giving vouchers….. by Julia Vinograd
Change was written by me for Ed’s zine, I don’t know what it is called
I got a lot of info out of the nice woman at the Berkeley Public Library reference phone line
The rest was done by me.

My World 2

Disclaimer: This is not the property of P.I.S. we are a preservational home for this.

Welcome to issue #2 of My World. This should end up being a little shorter than #1.5. This time there are things by other people. The letter to the editor is by my friend Pam, who writes Drop Out Zine. The Black Panther Party 10-point program was written by the Black Panthers. The art was stolen from a book that was illustrated by Miriam Arguelles. In the next issue I would like to do reviews. Send me anything to review and I will find something I like about it(even if I mostly hate it). Only good reviews will be given, don’t confine yourself to just music and literature, please.

Lately I noticed two different things in the newspaper on the same day.
#1)The entire amount of tax dollars spent on the US nuclear arsenal from the very beginning to today is 4 Trillion dollars.
#2)The amount of the US deficit today is 4 Trillion dollars. I guess somehow they have most of the people here too strung out on TV, dope, work, etc., to notice that they spent 4 Trillion dollars that they haven’t even stolen(IRS) from us yet, to build bombs that we will never use. They will charge the future generations for this expense. It occurred to me that if we never built all those bombs that there would be no national debt. Yet the people in government keep playing the charade of “how do we balance the budget?”. I keep hearing the same rich white congress people who appropriated the cash for the bombs saying now that it is the fault of single mothers on welfare that there is a national debt/budget problems. They seem to fail to mention that these women are on welfare because: 1)The men left, 2)The most important work to be done in our society, raising kids, is economically devalued to the point where it is completely unpaid work, because part of the patriarchy we live inside of states that women, children and people of color are our(white males) servants and they don’t need to be compensated for their labors. If you paid a woman $5 an hour for childrearing, which is a 24 hour a day job365 days a year 19 years long: 5x24x365x19=$832,200. This comes to 43,800 a year, $3650 a month, as opposed to the $400-600 a month they receive on welfare.

Once again the people who set these policies are blaming the victims of their bad planning for the fact that the system doesn’t work. This stuff makes me want to further both the group and the idea, Food Not Bombs, as much as I can.

Also I’m sort of thinking it might be a good idea to collectively go to the “defense industry” and return the useless missiles for a full cash refund. 4 Trillion Dollars.

The other day I went on the Friday the 13th critical mass and saw the ride fall apart due to what seemed to be a near consensus opinion that it was more relevant to go to a party than to do the ride. I don’t want to go into details, that’s just the way I saw that day(probably heavily misconstrued). What I did want to bring up was the things that bond the members of our community. I never thought of it much until lately I decided to abstain from Heroin, Cocaine, Speed, Acid, Pot, Alcohol, Sex, Coffee, Cigarettes and then later Sugar. Until then I never questioned the fact that almost every bond made in our community was made of the above mentioned items.

I think there are a few reasons for this lack of questioning(that we wouldn’t accept in other areas of our lives). First, I think we have a large vested interest in not acting in an authoritarian manner towards other people. I know I have a lot of trips with this one, as my parents had me locked up(beatings, mental hospital, jail, juvenile hall, group home, non-consentual homelessness at 14) on numerous occasions for things like suspicion of possession of pot(they have been on alcohol every day of my life). Second, I think that we use the nessecary drug etiquette(some things not being OK to talk about for legal reasons) as an excuse to not deal with some things at all. Third, I think we all contain some of our societies alcoholic condition of denying the existence of some of the things that are so obviously with us.

I’ve noticed that a lot of us hold the idea that some(heroin,cocaine, speed and sometimes alcohol) chemicals are bad for the formation and stability of community. But for the three reasons mentioned above it seems to be shunned to hold that same idea about pot, acid, sex and the other so called soft-drugs.

I saw all of us(including myself) do nothing when some of us(including myself) would do occasional to regular use of the so called hard drugs. I thought it was not my place to do or say anything because of the aforementioned experiences with my parents. This way of thinking dictated to us the idea that we had to sit and watch our brothers and sisters die if that was the direction that they were headed. I certainly don’t want to ever promote trying to interfere with a persons right to do whatever the hell they want to, but I don’t think that means we have to be silent among ourselves about some peoples actions troubling us. I think there may be some sort of middle ground between becoming what we hate and suffering in passive silence.

I have watched relationships loosely based on using chemicals and sex form and disappear over and over. The only relationships I’ve seen last very long in my own realm of reality are the relationships formed while undertaking actions like squatting over the last four years, the people I’ve meet while actively dealing with the universities attacks on the park, the people I’ve gone to jail with over all the attempts to go across the bay bridge with out a car, the people who do Food Not Bombs with very clear intentions of getting the food out, and the woman I traded blood with in order to become siblings.

In the last decade I’ve learned all that I know about how oppression is maintained. It seems to me that one of the biggest tools that they have is divide and conquer. It took quite awhile longer for me to recognize how easy it is to divide people whose bonds are mainly composed of getting loaded. I also thought I was over reacting in my thinking until I went over a mental list of how I had come together with all the people that I did work with and how different my bonds to those people seem to be just in the absence of a few drugs. Just remember It’s no big deal.

How many times have I heard some human in a suit or a frat costume telling me to get a job, as though an absence of a job means something besides not having a job. I could work at McDonalds(and destroy the peoples land in south america, torture cows with factory farming, poison people here and encourage people to not cook for themselves), I could work at a book store( and destroy the chances of our kids having trees and air to breath next century), I could work at a bank( and uphold the current situation of a few people having more wealth then they could possibly know what to do with, while most people are their indentured servants), I could work at the auto factory( and help put millions of tons of toxic waste into our childrens air, while encouraging people to drive which makes the air putrid, kills more people than guns annually and make us fat and lazy), I could work for the fruit industry( and ensure the subversion of third world DEMOCRACIES by our secret military), I could work for the police(and contribute to the imprisonment of almost exclusively young, poor, black males, does genocide ring a bell), I could work digging metals or oil out of the ground(and ensure the further poisoning of the earth), I could get a job with the U.S. military(and keep the world safe for economic exploitation of the third world, world domination, weapons manufacturers profits, capitalism. Mean while your tax dollars buy overpriced bombs to kill people, towns, communities just like you), I could get a job making or selling cigarettes( which will kill our fellow people), I could get a job at a hospital(and teach people anything but how to live in a way so that they wouldn’t need hospitals/drug people for not conforming to the mental/emotional paradigm), I could sell real estate( for such high prices that people will be indebted/enslaved forever), I could rent people houses to live in( at prices so high that people will have to work for others for the rest of their lives), I could build houses for a living(and destroy all of the other living creatures houses), I could work at a grocery store( and ensure that people don’t learn how to grow their own food), I could work at a coffee shop( and keep everybody on legal low grade speed).

Additionally, any job I could get would invariably uphold the fundamental capitalist principals. For example, large amounts of goods costs less per unit while less amounts of goods cost more per unit, no it’s not just the typical drug dealer economics, it’s also a way of ensuring that the few with all the cash(THE RICH) are the only ones who get the advantage of buying in large quantities therefore ensuring that they will remain rich and dominate forever. Remember you may get a little piece of this “pie”, but never enough to make you or your people free and never enough to buy back this world which was stolen from all of us. Lastly, many of us use the excuse that we need to pay rent as a way of justifying being anothers slave, it would be good to remember that we live on what was and is rightfully Native American land. Rent is only a scam dreamed up by those who falsely claim to own this continent.

How many times have I heard the teachers say that it’s too late to make amends for the fact that we almost completely genocided various Native American peoples. It just happened. To bad. Really it’s no big deal, just cuz we killed 15 times as many Indians as Hitler killed Jews. We sure have a lot of shit to talk about Germany, but none about ourselves. It makes sense that the establishment justifies the slaughter of 90 million with the acquisition of enough land so that every white man can have 100 kids and each one can cut down their own forest, and so on. It doesn’t make as much sense that we echo that same sentiment today, seeing as how we don’t recieve the rewards of the slaughter anymore. We don’t get all the free land that they clear(KILL) the people off of. We don’t get shit. We get 40 hours a week and enough left over after rent, bills and taxes to buy a little beer or crack to forget our misery for awhile. We get enough credit to keep us indebted and enslaved for the rest of our lives.

So anyway back to our history teachers. They try to convince us in one class about, America and justice and truth and what’s right, and at the same time that it’s OK to kill for land, enslave for labor, torture for control, etc. They say that there is nothing we could do about it now. They always admit to what happened after the fact and then they say”oh it’s too late to do anything about it”.

If you got caught today for theft and was prosecuted you would have to pay restitution(they would call this justice). If you told the white men that they would have to pay restitution for the land stolen from the Indian, you would be told to live in the real world. When our so-called educators tell us it is too late to make up for what we did, it just means that they are afraid of losing the privileges and convieneces brought/bought by genocide and slavery and “civilization”. It means we as a race don’t today have the courage to make amends for what we did. It means like our parents, we are afraid to have to fend for ourselves in a world where humans are not on top of a food pyramid but rather part of a food chain like biology teaches us.

In this last year the white buffalo was born.

In this last year I have witnessed the return of rains and the return of one snowy white egret walking slowly up one of the few remaining streams in Berkeley(Strawberry Creek), swooping on fish and bugs out of the creek. I think that there will be many more pieces of nature coming back into our world(cities) to be at home again. I hope that this time we have the sense to learn respect because this time I think if we are unwilling to adapt and take our rightful humble place then there will be no place for us at all.

It has always bugged me how the society that: covers the entirety of our urban areas with cement, burns petroleum like there’s no tomorrow, utilizes nuclear power before knowing how to deal with the by-products, establishes “safe” levels of poisons in our food, cuts down the vast majority of the trees that create the oxygen we breath has the nerve to put up signs that say shit like “don’t litter”. Like in the center of an entire culture of shit, whether my candy bar rapper goes in a garbage can or on the cement really matters. The rulers get to(only because we let them) define what trash is and isn’t. If I put my little bit of trash in the garbage can then I’m supposed to feel good about myself. Where does it go from there, in the ground. A little bit more poison in the land our food grows in, the water we drink, the air we breath. Is there really somewhere good to put trash? Outer space? Why don’t they ever bring up not making the trash in the first place? Probably because government and multi-national corporations are the same entity. They think that it’s more important to sell us a ton of crap that we WILL drown in rather than give up their control of the Earths resources and our lives and minds and bodies. I don’t really know what the answer is but I have met many people who have learned how to deal with their needs by their own work. Some of the things I’ve seen are, gardening rather than safeway, sewing rather than the gap, welding bikes rather than ford, squatting and camping rather than rent, etc. They all cost less or nothing and there is no packaging to be buried later.

One more idea I had was to somehow(I’m not trying to encourage crime or anything) disable the cities garbage collection and removal systems, so that people will be forced out of their denial about garbage going somewhere appropriate. We would then be realistically facing whether or not we want to live in a dump or not, when we don’t think it’s just going somewhere else.

Right before I got kicked out of High School I took a biology class. Every time I went to the class I noticed things that are supposed to happen in the world, according to biology, that are against the “LAW”. When we eat food we are taking in nitrogen from our food which originated in the soil. We are supposed to return that by urinating and defecating on the ground, an act which happens to be illegal. So instead we build immense systems of pipes under everything, send our waste to a place where we add tons of chemicals to it and then put it in the water we drink, fish and swim in. When we die we are supposed to rot back into the ground. That is the least we can do to play our part in the cycle we call the food chain, however you would get in serious trouble if you got busted putting a friend or relative who had passed away in the ground in your backyard. At night time you are supposed to go to sleep. If you don’t subscribe to the reality of wage/rent slavery, then any way you deal with your need for shelter/warmth at night is totally illegal. If you don’t own/rent a piece of land it is illegal for you to go to sleep. It is illegal to have a fire to keep warm in many places. It is illegal to hunt. It is illegal to use the resources around you to make yourself shelter because everything is already privately owned or is “public property”, which means that since your a part of the public, you don’t get to use any of it. Go Figure? Unfortunately, laws can’t eradicate the need for things like sleep, shelter, urination, deification, burial, etc. they can only attempt to eradicate the people who are landless.

My parents used to always say that god/religion is for people who couldn’t deal with the real world. Of course they drank alcohol every day so I guess that means they couldn’t deal with the real world either. Anyway, as a result of their abandoning of their parents faith/churches I was never brought to even one church service by them. While I lived with them I went along with the party line of “fuck god and all that stuff”, without really thinking about it much. The kids next door had to deal with a catholic upbringing and they told me all sorts of crazy things about how god keeps a book of all my good deeds and bad deeds and how it would be tallied at my death and I would be sent to heaven or hell. There were so many obvious contradictions in what their parents said about their religions(peace, goodness, justice, truth) and what they did in real life(violence, anger, constant punishment, lies), I figured all their god stuff was crap(as my parents told me). Later on I learned about the reality of the history of christianity. Murder, slavery, war, genocide, theft, rape. At this point in time I thought that the above crimes against humanity were evidence of the nonexistence of god.

After awhile I got put in juvenile hall for being myself and all there was to read was Sweet Valley High books and the bible. Needless to say I read the entire set of sweet valley high books before I even considered opening the bible. Eventually though I did open the bible. I read it about ten or twenty times. Alot of it seemed to say “god’s peace” in between the various accounts of wars. It seemed a little weird. However some of what it said seemed totally right on. Which really blew my mind, because all the christians I knew wanted nothing more than to be super-rich. Yet their bible seemed to say that it was easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Plenty of these people seemed to support things like WWI, WWII, dropping nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, destroying the people of Viet Nam, ruining the lives of the soldiers(children) we send all over the earth and capitol punishment even though their bible say that “thou shall not kill”. There are about a million other examples that I don’t need to mention cuz we have all seen them a thousand times already. Anyway, I was left with the idea that all the religion stuff was probably crap, but maybe the problem was all the people that claimed to be christians were fakes. Later on in life I found myself at my friends moms house and I was on some acid. My girlfriend was suffering from a pretty bad case of strep throat. I couldn’t get to sleep, so I ended up sitting there watching her sweat and cough and look miserable. For the first time in my life I felt really powerless over something. I didn’t really know how but I got on my knees and in my head asked for god or whatever It is to help her feel better. About fifteen seconds later she started sweating profusely and broke her fever. Moments later she proceeded to awaken and tell me how she had a dream that an encompassing light came down over her head and made her well. At this point I had to reassess my thoughts about god.

About a year later I was living in a house in north Oakland renting the couch in the living room. There was some weird people living with us who belonged to this cult thing called the OTO. We would do lots of speed and talk about all kinds of voo doo, magic, etc. By this time in our lives we had all read the bible enough to be familiar with it. So anyway one day on the TV news we saw something incredible.

In the book of revelations 6:12/6:13 it says, “I looked when he opened the sixth seal, and behold there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood. And the stars of heaven fell to the earth…” Also 8:11, “..A third of the waters became wormwood, and many men died from the water”, and 9:9, “And they had breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the sound of chariots with many horses running into battle”, and finally 13:18, “Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: his number is six hundred, three score and six.”

We were all sitting around watching the local evening news because we wanted to know what was going on with the US – Iraqi conflict. In one half hour we saw the following: an earthquake, a shot of the sun turning black as a result of the burning oil wells, the moon was red in another shot also as a result of the burning oil, lights(scud/patriot missiles) falling from the sky, Oil pouring into the sea, turning the water black, in the same place where that community desalinated the sea water to drink, helicopters flying, and after all that we heard the news caster casually refer to UN resolution 667 in regards to the conflict. That one was too much so I went straight to the library to find out what resolution 666 was. It said something like this: The UN holds sole(soul) power to relieve human suffering in Iraq.

That is in regard to the fact that a previous resolution says that it’s illegal for anyone to sell or give any food, clothing, medicine, etc. to anyone in the country of Iraq. I remembered various Berkeley paranoid conspiracy theories about how the story in the bible about the beast establishing one world government right before the end. Once again I had to rethink the god thing again.

Later on I got to a point in my life when I needed to stop using drugs and alcohol and I tried to do it myself and I couldn’t. When I found some people who had found some success with their drug/alcohol problems, the majority of what they had to tell me about how they did it was that they didn’t do it, cuz they couldn’t. This made sense to me on account of the fact that I had tried to do the same thing and failed time after time. They said that it only worked when they found a god/higher power/creator/deity of choice. This has also been my experience. I feel pretty lucky today that I never got forced into any kind of religion, church or whatever because most of that stuff that I’ve seen sucks.

Lastly, One of the people who lived in the house who lived with me left the area to live in a monastery and be a monk. At first it seemed like it had to be a bad thing that he was there because it is a christian monastery. I saw him later and he gave me a book that he had written with some other people from the monastery. This book answered one of my first questions about christianity. One of the major(to me anyway) points of the first part of the book was that Jesus is the only way to God. Jesus example/life seemed to consist of honesty, poverty, anti-imperialism, humility. Most of the churches that claim christianity seem real heavy into deceit, wealth, supportive of America/American Imperialism and social status games. When Jesus said I am the only way to god, he cut out the middle man. When the churches say that you have to give them 10% of your earnings and that you have to go to them to find Jesus, they have bastardized the whole thing back into a business. One of the other things I’ve noticed about most of the world religions is that they all say “I am the only true God” in there somewhere. For some reason people have an easier time killing each other in wars than they do realizing that it’s possible that the only difference between Allah and Jehovah is the language of the beholder.

So after a life wondering about all of this I have come to a very few conclusions. There is a power in this universe that burns the sun, spins the earth, revolves the moon around us, grows plants, animals and us out of dirt, blows the air, pulls water out of the sky, feeds everything and connects all of us. This thing seems(to me anyway) to be contained in and animate everything that there is in the world. Today I no longer think that this power is a bearded, vengeful, warmonger. Maybe we made god in our image instead of the other way around.

How many times have I been confronted by a store employee telling me about how I can’t come in and give them money because I’m not wearing shoes. I never really seem to have the time to explain to them why I’m barefoot before they think that my trying to talk to them about it is just my way of disobeying their “authority”. See it all started when I got terrible foot rot. This happened as a result of wearing shoes and no other reason. As soon as I quit wearing shoes the problem disappeared and never came back. It’s been years now.

The alleged reason for the requirement of shoes almost everywhere you go is that it protects people from spreading contagious foot diseases. Of course who ever thought up this crap failed to notice that in the absence of shoes there isn’t really much foot disease in the first place.

Sometimes I wonder if the employees and managers and owners realize they are blindly complying with rules not on the basis that they make sense, but instead, on the basis of being told to comply with said rules. How many times have I heard history teachers say that gassing Jews works only because the people were compliant and said nothing even though they new it was wrong, and that it couldn’t happen here because we aren’t like that. Oh well.

(This was a letter to the editor in some Sacto paper. It was then in Drop Out #2. It was written by my friend Pam. You can reach her at: Pam Davis 1901 P St. #27 Sacramento CA 95814. I am stealing/reprinting it because it more accurately sums up my feelings on what we call education then I ever could hope to.)


The title of the article should have been “Can we save our teaching jobs?”. Educators statewide, with the help of the theme-recycling media, love to create the image that they wish they could overhaul the schooling system but they just haven’t been able to galvanize enough support to bring in that tidal wave of change. The dialog was the same as always: Fortieth in the nation in per pupil spending, Multi-racial and non-english speaking student population, kids from broken homes, too many kids in each class, not enough school days in the year, not enough hours in each school day, teachers not committed enough, teachers burning out…

No one is willing to state the obvious, so I will. People calling themselves educators don’t really know anything about learning, or they do know in their hearts but are unwilling to acknowledge it. Learning, the kind that matters, does not take place inside the classroom. Just ask anyone about their schooling experience and whether they learned anything truly useful. Ask a parent who watches, really watches,their own kids when they are at home doing their own thing. Humans learn all the time just by being alive in the world! Teachers, administrators, educational counselors are trying desperately to justify their existence, and they have the nation duped. Structured schooling as we all know it and experienced it, is obsolete and ultimately damaging to actual learning, but to admit this would means thousands and thousands of school employees out of work.

The most direct and simple solution to the public school mess is to remove the compulsory attendance laws. The fact that the dropout rate is so high should tell us That kids don’t want to be there. The finger is always pointed at the drop out with the question “why did you fail?” The question should be “Why does everyone hate school? Could it be that school itself is a failure?”, or “What gives adults the right to force children to do things they despise? Can we honestly say, with the world as it is, that we know best?”, or “Why would it be such a disaster for children to play all day as they are growing up? Maybe they might learn something about life!”

If it were made optional whether to attend school or not, then schools might finally have to figure out what they are doing wrong, otherwise no one would show up. Any teacher that didn’t have something to offer would be out of a job. Any school that continued to structure itself in ways that are not about real learning would close down, because real learning is compelling, interesting, motivating and if you know kids you know they love it.

“They process the people like they process the food.” Whenever I was in school I didn’t want to do the things I was being forced to. When I simply refused to comply they would argue with me about how I didn’t know how negatively I was impacting my future. What I didn’t know then, and I do know now is that everything they had to say to me didn’t matter at all. All of their arguments were really just intimidation tactics. They were actively threatening me with confinement, banishment and the encouragement of abuse at the hands of my parents. The real lesson they were trying to impart on me was OBEDIENCE. This is one of the primary functions of the so called educational system, to intimidate all people into a constant state of submitting to authority. If you doubt this premise try out disobeying any of the hundreds of pointless orders given to you in one school day. If these people really knew what was best for our futures why would they actively encourage us to join the military, they did that to some of the boys my age who later ended up murdering and being murdered in Iraq. Also there is now a new slew of human toxicity problems due to the “anecdotes” they injected into all the desert storm soldiers. Those are really the actions of caring guidance givers.

You don’t ever need to argue with the school authorities about why you should or shouldn’t do this or that. Just ask them why, if they are RIGHT can’t they sway your opinion on the basis of superior logic rather than fear, intimidation and abuse.

America the foolish

So I am quite sure there’s numerous Republicans frothing at the mouth, whooping, cheering and whatever else at Trump pulling out of the Iran nuclear deal. Let’s unpack this one. The deal was made by John Kerry who is a slimy creature and it didn’t help the state of things. Trump is a complete fool who’s doing this for political reasons with no true forethought. Instead of putting together a different and possibly better deal he’s just imposing sanctions. Has anyone else considered the idea that the “terrorism” from the middle east is a result of us and Russia continuously carrying out acts of neo-imperialism to get at natural resources? Most notably opium and oil. Afghanistan and UBL had a problem with us because we played them as our pawn during the cold war. We screamed about a war on terror though we didn’t attack Saudi Arabia where the 9/11 terrorists and their funding came from because we have a strategically located base. America doesn’t want to fight terror. It wants to send young under privileged Americans to the meat grinder to continue mucking up a place we have no business in.

-C Fish

Alice Bag Blueprint review

Alice Bag who is already a legend in the LA punk scene has a new album out entitled Blueprint. Of course this came across my desk. The whole thing is solid. There’s the gnarly riot grrl track 77 which features Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill. Also White Justice which is an amazing protest track that sounds more like something out of a musical. These decades later Alice Bag still has it! Get a copy of this and turn it up!

On a MOVE! 31 Years Later

The gnarliest anarcho group you’ve never heard of. Fast facts to simplify this.

MOVE was an anarcho-primitivist organization. In Philadelphia, PA

MOVE was not black separatist as it had white members though its membership was primarily black.

Philadelphia police had brutalized several MOVE members over the years resulting in multiple miscarriages and the death of one child from a baton strike to the head.

In 1978 Philadelphia police had a standoff with MOVE at the MOVE house. This resulted in the death of one police officer from gunfire within the police line.

When MOVE members surrendered the police singled out Delbert Africa and brutally beat him for no reason.

9 MOVE members were given sentences ranging from 25 to 100 years for capital charges. Members have been denied parole as hearings came up.

In 1985 on Osage avenue (a black neighborhood) Philadelphia police had another standoff with MOVE members led by John Africa.

The police were armed with automatic rifles, uzis, 50 calibers and anti tank guns.

The police then dropped a bomb on the MOVE house and opted to let the fire burn as a “tactile weapon”.

MOVE members attempted to escape the burning house until police opened fire forcing them back into the house.

All 11 people in the house died. 6 of them were children. Evidence of gunshot wounds was found in the body of John Africa.

The Philadelphia municipality let the fire burn through the night resulting in the loss of 60 homes.

Ramona Africa who did escape was sentenced to 7 years in prison for a conspiracy charge (what conspiracy?)

These tactics are terrorism. The MOVE 7( 2 have died in prison) are political prisoners.

The 60 families left homeless are victims of terrorism.

Go to website for further information.

#onamove #freethemove9 #johnafrica

Below are links for documentaries on all of this.

#neverforget #onamove #move9 #johnafrica

Never Comply

Never comply! You can stock your malls with trash companies and try to shove fashion down our throats. But our b.s. detectors are on high. And those of us who know there’s more real skateboarding in parking lots or sketchy alleyways cannot and will not be bought or sold. You may have products, money and events but you have no claim on soul. The flow can only be had and handled by those who actually believe in it. We’re not in it for acclaim or money. We skate for the sake of it. For some it’s the only anchor we’ve got and damn you for even daring to kill it

Anarcho Punk Albums book review

The first publishing from long time punk site came across my desk. It was a great read packed with a large amount of info from the pioneers of anarcho punk. This book consists of interviews with the bands covering their founding andbthe road to these seminal debut albums such as Crass’s Feeding of the 5000 and Subhumans day the country died. It was freaking great. 20 years ago when I got into punk those were 2 of my first albums. It also covers Zounds and Icons of Filth. The book is fairly cheap or free to read on Kindle unlimited. So get a fucking copy already and read it. Also do be kind enough to review it on Amazon. It means a lot to the author and bands who put this time capsule together for us.

-C Fish